Tuesday, September 9, 2008

My Mirage in the Desert

Some nights when I sit at my desk I stop suddenly and run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath. The feeling usually comes out of no where, or is triggered by a movie or a song that I'm listening to. As I run my hands through my hair, with eyes closed I think of him. The unknown man. My mirage. Is he thinking of me? Wondering where I am? What I am doing? As I wonder about him? Sometimes I wonder why I can't get my act together enough so that I can meet him. Is it me? or is it him? or both? I tend to think that its my fault. I seem to be a little slow to learn lessons that should come quickly.
I don't feel a hinder to this space between my mirage and I. Nor do I resent the distance between us. I wish that I could walk a little faster and not complain so much about my thirst for the waters that lay ahead just out of sight.
It is late as usual, it seems like I am less and less tired. I long for sleep less. That may be one of the reasons the mirage seems brighter tonight that usual. It feels within reach tonight, and almost tangible.

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