Resolutions 2011

So I was reading through last years blog. I knew that I had written a few resolutions down. I said that I wasn't one for resolutions but lately in my life I have realized that I'm a goal oriented person. I feel that this year I would do better if I wrote down the things I truly wanted, and will work hard to accomplish.
I wrote 4 things I wanted to do/work on: Being more approachable, more organized, more social during school time, and last but not least... date.
While I am happy to say I have worked on all of these, sadly I think I only really accomplished 2. I have been more approachable to those I go to school with, and more importantly the patients I have worked with during my time in the hospitals for school. I have also gone on at least 2 dates this year (I know... not many, but more than usual for me!).
So, for this year's list I will add again to be more organized. This is truly something I am going to put more effort into. School things organized makes me less stressed, and the room and car more organized helps me focus and relax to spend more time on the things I really need to focus on.
I have also come to realize that while I miss socializing during school, I talk to my really important friends. I don't get to see them much, but we do talk. They are my life support during the rush of school work and stress. I need to talk with them, so I will keep that up, but I now realize that I need to focus on school, and my true friends understand (although I think we are all ready to spend more time together during summer break!).
This year I am going to add to my list! I want to really budget my money, and not just grudgingly because of my "starving student" status. I really want to plan out my money, pay my bills ahead of time, as well as maybe save a little. I'm tired of my budget and money being a burden that I try to avoid rather than keep under control.
I want to work on test stress. I finally got my cumulative GPA above 3.5, which working full time, and nursing school full time, makes me pretty happy. However, the tests get me everytime. I am getting better, but would like to focus my stress a little more, so I want to look into meditation and things like that.
The big one this year I want to tackle is my weight. While I don't particularly look overweight... I am, technically by the books, overweight. This alone wouldn't make me unhappy, but I don't like looking at my closet full of clothes and knowing that I can only fit in 1/4 of them (and this is being VERY generous). I hate having to buy bigger and bigger sizes everytime I look for clothes. I finally bought myself a scale so I can see some progress when I work out and cut out some calories.
I would also like to feel more confident in my nursing abilities. My clinical instructor last semester had great faith in me and what I did during those times in the hospital with the patients. I enjoyed (nearly) every minute of my clinicals and it helped cement the information from the textbooks, but I would like to trust my instincts and feel more confident. I know that this comes with time, and they say you don't really get the hang of nursing until about 2 years into the job, this means OUT of school. So I won't rush myself... just something I would like to work on. So it goes on the list!
Hope everyone is having a wonderful time during the many holidays celebrated. I'm very excited to see what 2011 holds!

What I Miss...

So I haven't been able to do much lately but work and school. I think it's starting to be noticeable. Nursing school is definitely aging me. LOL. I miss hanging out with my friends, my family, going to the movies, reading books that I enjoy, and lately I've really been missing sewing. I went to a Fall Frenzy quilt shop hop, which started it. They have so many cute patterns and fabrics out right now and I just don't have the time. With this in mind I was able to restrain myself and just looked... oh wait... I bought 3 yards of assorted fabrics! My stash is just growing and growing! (At least I won't be at a loss of what to do this summer on my break!)Also it's fall... which is my favorite fabric and patterns so they are everywhere in the store. I'm starting to really like pumpkin patterns and fabrics with pumpkins on them. Very cute!

Anyways, I'm starting to ramble... I was able to sew this purse for my friend Felicity. I hope she liked it. We picked out the fabric together. Also I tried a new magnetic button. I sewed the strong magnet directly into the purse and fabric, its not as easy as you would think. You do after all have a metal foot on your machine that tends to hold the magnet tight (it was actually pretty funny how it would pull the fabric you were sewing into the side of the foot). Anyways, hope everyone is enjoying this wonderful season! It's my favorite!!!

Another 100 Things...

Last night I was looking at my old posts and came across this one. I read through it and while its all true, it's been awhile and things change... So I thought I would update my list. :)
1. I'm currently a junior in nursing school.
2. I'm also working as a legal assistant full time.
3. Because of #1 &2, I don't have much free time, and therefore I don't really have a life.
4. Realizes now that this list may be hard because of #3.
5. I am addicted to the Sweet Tooth Fairy's Red Velvet cupcake... it's divine!
6. I love medical shows (even more now that I know what they are talking about!)
7. My dream car is an Audi R8 Spyder.
8. I love the fashion of the '50's.
9. I miss going to the movies, and will definitely be cramming a lot of those in during the holiday break.
10. 12 hour clinicals for school are long, and hard... but honestly I love them!
11. I would really like to lose 40 lbs.
12. I LOVE to see Blue October in concert! (Happy my brother decided to take me when he won tickets the day before their last one)
13. Wish I could go on vacation to Boston or Seattle... actually both.
14. One day I will go to Disneyland during my favorite holiday... Halloween!!
15. I love to do peoples Halloween makeup.
16. I miss reading books for fun.
17. I want to make a pie this Thanksgiving... a first!
18. I am still a sucker for a man on a motorcycle.
19. I'm afraid of failure.
20. I'm gaining more confidence.
21. I have a fantasy of being kissed in the rain (as does almost every girl).
22. I took a knitting class this summer with my friend Julia, I've bought a lot of yarn... and haven't knit anything else!
23. After a relapse of mono this summer, I have become addicted to NCIS (marathon on USA... for two days).
24. I still sing in my car... loudly!
25. I don't like chocolate.
26. I'm addicted to In & Out's fries! (It doesn't help that In&Out and Sweet Tooth Fairy share a parking lot!!!)
27. I have a bouquet of velvet roses from my great grandfathers funeral.
28. My dream house will have a ginormous bathtub!
29. Although I'm going into nursing, I still enjoy interior design.
30. I love buying quilting fabric, it just makes me smile!
31. I hate going to the grocery store.
32. I've realized I'm an emotional/stress eater... nursing school does not help this!
33. Would love to own a cabin someday.
34. I'm a sucker for a nice TV, and DVD player.
35. I have insomnia issues, and have to take ambien sometimes.
36. I want to see Wicked again.
37. I love showtunes!
38. I make a fool of myself quite a lot.
39. I don't like the taste of water... but still trying.
40. I love watching movies over and over to get a new perspective on it.
41. I don't like confrontation.
42. I am afraid of rejection.
43. I love the holidays with my family.
44. I enjoy dancing, but know I can't do it well, that's why I dance only when I'm alone.
45. Always wanted to act in a musical... and then I realized I can't really sing that well.
46. I don't like getting attention, it makes me blush.
47. I don't like talking about politics with people, I have views, but choose not to discuss them.
48. I have a large collection of bath towels... and its just me.
49. I buy myself tulips and roses occasionally.
50. I love foods made with pumpkin!
51. I miss hanging out with my friends, and studying instead.
52. I have a hard time letting go of clothes that are too small... I keep saying I'll fit in them again.
53. I love to make soup!
54. I can't wait for fall!!! The leaves, the food, the cool crisp air, the clothes!
55. I enjoy going to the movies alone.
56. I don't like getting pedicures at a salon, so I do them myself.
57. I realize now that while I'm shy... when I get to know someone, I talk too much.
58. I window shop online because I don't have time to go to the stores.
59. I still can't take a compliment well.
60. I still have test anxiety, but its getting better.
61. I want to learn tai chi.
62. I have a large collection of cooking and quilting magazines.
63. I've realized lately most of my sentences begin with: Someday...
64. I'm a recovering procrastinator.
65. Every car I drive I seem to ruin something in the engine that baffles my Dad.
66. I love to eat out for breakfast!
67. I have some shoes that are just too painful to wear, but I can't get rid of them, because they are SO cute!
68. There are only two things I sew. Quilts, and bags.
69. I would love to go to a heavy weight boxing match.
70. I think I'm creative... until I'm with my sister!
71. I can listen to the same song over and over.
72. I LOVE movie theatre popcorn.
73. I love walking in the rain.
74. I love reading a book on a blanket in the park.
75. I still love the Disney classic movies.
76. I enjoy going out to eat with friends and family.
77. I'm a daddy's girl.
78. I'm also very close to my mom.
79. Lately I feel like I'm losing my mind and can't remember anything.
80. I enjoy cooking, but only in my own kitchen.
81. I make some great oatmeal chocolate chip cookies!
82. I hate having my picture taken.
83. Wish I could go camping more.
84. I like fly fishing, but would like to spend more time and get better.
85. I never sing in the shower, I don't like hearing my own voice.
86. Often when my dad and I go on a movie date, we go to two movies, one right after another. (He likes movies as much as I do).
87. One of my new favorite foods is fried pickles!
88. I love wearing high heels to work, but take them off almost as soon as I sit at my desk.
89. I love going on road trips, with people I like that is...
90. I don't like mint.
91. I like to make people smile!
92. I enjoy hosting parties.
93. My favorite movie is Pride & Prejudice.
94. Physical humor (people falling, or running into something) is my favorite!
95. I bruise very easily.
96. Probably one of my favorite dishes is steak or chicken salad.
97. Will one day go to the Shakespearean Festival.
98. I enjoy putting puzzles together on New Years Eve.
99. I can't wait to be a nurse!
100. This took WAY longer than it should have!!!

Hope that wasn't too boring to read... You should try it! It's harder than you would think. :)

Footprints...

So, I know I don't update this much, and I'm not really sure how many people read this. But, I was heading out of my class tonight and caught a glimpse of someone in a car that looked like a dear friend of mine. Someone I haven't been able to see or talk to for about a year. I keep seeing him places.
It made me think of a quote that I saw on a plaque once, "People come and go in your life, but true friends leave footprints behind."
I started to think of all the friends that have come into my life over the last few years. I have so many people that have left footprints in my heart and in my life. So many people that have influenced me and help give me strength throughout the days. I'm sure they don't even know how much they help me.
I have been threw some hardships in my life, but with the family and friends I have, I have a hard time complaining about them. I have a wonderful family and siblings that love me, and can joke around with me, and build me up to be a stronger person. They are family that in the hardest of times I can lean on. They are my rock, my foundation. I love them dearly.
I have some amazing friends. I would dare say some of the best on the planet! Felicity is like a sister. We have been friends for over half of my life now and I love that I can call her stressed out about school, and she is going through the same thing, if not harder. She is amazingly smart and a wonderful friend.
Julia was a roommate that turned into a very close friend. She is the Rachel in our little "Friends" group and I love her for it! She is someone that has seen me at my worst, from crying to yelling, to something in between. I still have a hard time getting ready for a date and not sending her a picture asking if I look alright. She started me on my obsession with purses (to go along with the shoe one I already had). I miss the late night runs to Sonic.
Kellee makes me laugh! She is our Phoebe, and yes there is someone actually like her! She says some of the most random things, and is carefree, and loves everything, especially animals. She is a friend that can take any and all of my venting, from work to school, to the crazy driver on the freeway in front of me. She can laugh at my being neurotic and is a hopeless romantic, firm in the idea that my Prince Charming is out there. She won't let me give up.
I have so many friends that I could go on and on about, I truly am blessed, but I don't want to bore anyone reading this so I will stop. But I will finish with the friend that started me thinking about this.
He was a friend that would just sit with me and watch tv while I studied, not needing to talk, not needing anything from me. Just sitting with me. Every now and then messing with the camera on my Mac (I still have a picture he took of himself that I can't erase). I remember a conversation we had just before he got married, it was almost a good bye conversation and I cried at losing him, but understood. I spoke with him periodically through out the years until he was deported. He called me to tell me that he was okay, and that he had made it to his country. The last time I spoke with him was right after the tsunami hit Samoa, where he is, and I was so glad to hear that he was okay. His wife is visiting as much as she can, and she really brings him so much join. I am so happy he has her in his life. For some reason I have seen him multiple times over the last few days and it worries me a bit. My heart goes out to him and his wife and I pray that both are safe.
I miss my friend dearly!!!

A Needed Push

I have thought and wanted to update my blog all day, but unsure how to approach it. I feel like a lot of my entries are about being single, and complaining, which I don't want to do. I'm actually very grateful for where I am in my life right now. I can't imagine working full time, going to nursing school full time and trying to fit in time for dating.
With that being said, one of my best friends, Felicity, and I, went to two movies this weekend. Letters to Juliet and Robin Hood. Both were great. I cried in Letters to Juliet, but felt this overwhelming feeling of hope, and inspiration. In these types of movies, yes, I'm talking chick flicks, the main characters show so much passion. I watch these characters, these women, (as well as men) follow their hearts and their passions, in extraordinary ways.
I know that I am following my heart and my passion, but the hard thing for me to remember is that this dream isn't going to happen overnight. As well as the fact that it isn't the easiest thing to accomplish. I've struggled through my classes, but in doing so, I'm learning about the strength that I have, and even if I'm not doing as well as I want, I'm still doing great.
Robin Hood was a different tale than I have seen of Robin Hood, and I wasn't sure how I felt about Cate Blanchett being Maid Marian, however, her class and stature brought something different to this character than I had felt before. Not only was she independent, and feisty (which is one of the reasons I LOVE Maid Marian) but she brings silent strength and a willingness to do the right thing.
Overall this weekend I have felt a push for inner strength and renewal of passion in my life.

Finished Project!

Well, I remembered to take a picture! Well, okay, really I just took it with my phone to send to my friends to show them, but figured I would post it here as well.
I finished this purse for myself, and I LOVE it!
I finished it while watching Underworld that I have saved on my Tivo. I've decided for some reason I love to sew while watching/listening to action movies. Now just to finish my knitted scarf, my sisters purse, my sister-in-law's purse, and my nephews blanket.
I am loving this summer thing. I wish I could fit in just a few more movies!

Hello Blog... I've missed you!

Wow! That semester was... well... HARD!
I worked full time while going to school full time and no one really explains to you that not only is nursing text books hard to memorize and the tests are confusing and there are like 3 out of 4 right answers but you have to pick the MOST right, the paperwork is crazy! I had no idea I would have to do papers every two weeks that would take approx. 6-8 hours and have a night to do it. Anyways... I survived, and I pulled out a 3.2 for the semester! Now... only 2 more years!
But hey, it's summer! Time to celebrate!
So what have I done to celebrate?? Sew!!!! Oh, and fabric shopping! I've sewn two purses, so far and bought way more fabric than I should have. Oh, and I also signed up and took one knitting class with my friend Juls. I know, I sound like an eighty year old grandma and I'm only 31! However, I heard that knitting is very relaxing and I need to find something to do during the crazy semesters to keep my mind somewhat sane, so I'm going to be trying a lot of things this summer. Knitting, meditation, tai chi, and get back into yoga.
I forgot to take pictures of the purses I've sewn since school has been out prior to giving them to the people I sewed them for, but I will try to remember to post the summer projects that I finish.
Also I'm trying to spend time with my family and friends. I really feel like I've lost touch with a lot of people during this last semester. On the first day of classes we had an 8 hour nursing program orientation and one of my professor said that nursing school was like entering a convent... How true that feels! I know it will be worth it, and I will keep pushing through the next semesters, but for right now, I'm enjoying summer break!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!!!

Okay, when I started the process of going back to school and applying to the nursing program everyone said it was hard. I was worried, I'll admit it, but at the same time, I felt ready. But how is it that when others tell you something will be hard you never realize HOW hard until you are doing it yourself.
It just seems like every day blends together, work, school, school, work. 12 hour days and then homework and studying. Then I sit and I think, is this what I want? Is this really the work I want to do? Is this work really going to pay off in the end?
And then.... THEN...
I watch a show, a show like Grey's Anatomy, or Private Practice, or Mercy and then I remember. I remember why I started this. I remember that there is a passion inside that longs to be in a hospital with patients.
Tonight on Private Practice they showed the NICU, where I want to work. It always lifts me and can get me through the next round of tests, prep paperwork, or case studies.
Then on Mercy a couple weeks ago the nurse, Veronica, was going through a personal hardship and her dad sat down with her and told her that he understood that she was struggling, but that he knew that she would make it through it, because she always did. She was his girl. I cried instantly as the memory of my own Dad rushed at me. Him telling me that exact thing, that I was his girl, and that I would make it through. I'm not a person that is very open with my feelings, I don't tell my family how much they mean to me. My Dad is a strength to me that he will never fully be able to understand.
I will make it through school, I can make it through the long days of full time work and full time nursing school because I am stronger than I think I am. Faith in every footstep, strength in every day.

Sick...

So here I sit in my room thinking of all the things I should be doing, and all I can do is sit on my bed and wipe my nose. I hate being sick! Especially on the weekends, and when I know that when Monday comes it will be non stop going to work and school.
The days seem so long lately. I usually have 12 hour days with full time work and school. I know it will pay off and I'm trying not to complain, but really, it will be nice when it's over.
I've been thinking a lot lately about different things, random things. I've watched a few chick flicks lately and near the end I always think why do we watch these movies? You know the end, they are predictable, but they still give me that giddy happy smiley feelings. I know the couple is perfect for each other and that they will end up together, and it makes me happy. However, I know that this is far removed from reality, but aren't movies there for an escape of reality? Well for me they are. Sometimes the fairy tale is a great escape from the reality that crashes into me each and every morning.
Anyways, this post seems more of a rant while I sit at home sick rather than a purposeful post. So I will end it and study and sleep... at some point sleep will come.

Hello 2010

So I have been looking at blogs the last few days and I can't help to notice that everyone is excited and happy to say goodbye to 2009. While I'm excited to move on with my life and start the new chapter of nursing school, I didn't hate 2009.
I had some hard moments and had to face a lot of personal issues I didn't know I had, but overall it was an alright year. I made some major growth that only I can truly be aware of, but it makes me happy. It was hard to face things I didn't like about myself, and harder to change some things, but it's been worth it.
I digress... While I didn't hate 2009 I'm very excited for 2010. School starts next week and while I will be pulling 12 hour days every day with full time work and full time school I know it will pay off.
I looked back at the post I made this time last year and I said I had no resolutions and no high hopes in change. I've never been one for resolutions but this year I find myself making mental notes of goals I want to make for the year ahead.
I want to be more approachable. I'm kind of a shy person and I've come to realize that it comes across not as me being shy, but me being overly confident or rude. I'm going to work on that.
I want to work on my organization. While I am organized, it only appears that way to me. I want to be able to have others see that I'm organized and run my life orderly, and not just haphazardly and crazy.
I want to make time for a social life. I didn't really do this that well last semester and I fear that this semester will just be worse. However, I want to try to make time for that. Everyone needs a social life.
Date. One word... but so hard for me to do. Like I said I've been pretty busy so I don't have a lot of time. But I miss dating, having fun, talking to someone and finding out about them. First dates aren't the best, I refer to them as the "job interview date", but it's been awhile and I would like to get at least one in this year.
So there you go. My first shot at resolutions... Bring it on 2010!!!