tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78970073255902691932024-02-21T07:50:46.910-07:00Romantic & HopelessRantings of a single girl in want.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.comBlogger130125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-44101465308404084832012-04-09T22:55:00.002-06:002012-04-09T22:55:44.617-06:00Screaming!!!!!!I feel like screaming tonight... here I sit, in my pajamas, ready to go to sleep, I have even taken an ambien to see if that could get me to go to bed... yet, here I sit, wide awake... waiting... waiting...<br />
I don't know what it is, sometimes my body would love to sleep for hours and hours, I don't feel like I can get enough sleep... but for the most part, it's this situation. The begging for sleep to come, and it never does. If I'm lucky I will be able to get to sleep in an hour or so... after this ambien, I'm really hoping so. I don't take ambien lightly. I have actually been trying other things, at home remedies if you will... sleepy time tea, hot baths, exercise, stuff like that. But these up cycles, where I just can't seem to want to sleep, my body wants to stay awake are SO frustrating to me. I wouldn't mind as much if I didn't have obligation to attend to first thing in the morning. I'm pretty sure I have blogged about this frustration before, but I was sitting here and wanting to scream and yell... and thought why not put it on my blog? Scream there? lol So here it is... Sleep evades me, quite often, and I'm not sure why my body fights it as much as it does... but I am determined to win this war, even if I lose a few battles.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-86775370332361931322012-03-19T20:38:00.000-06:002012-03-19T20:38:56.176-06:00Capstone ClinicalsWell I just finished my capstone clinicals. For those that don't know much about Nursing School, it's the end! I was assigned a hospital unit to work on for 130-200 hours through the semester, I was also assigned to work with a preceptor through the whole thing, and schedule the time on my schedule. I was able to list three choices and my professors tried to place me in one of those. Well I listed NICU at Primary Children's Hospital, NICU at another hospital, and then anywhere at Primary Children's. Well the placements went out and I didn't have anything yet, I got anxious and thought I didn't get the NICU (there were very few placements). I emailed my professor and she said that I didn't get the NICU, but that she was trying to place me somewhere else. I was disappointed to say the least, I had always wanted to work in the NICU, I wanted to be a NICU nurse! Shortly after I got that emailed, another followed, my professor informed me "I just heard word, the PICU wants you." The PICU wants me??? Well that's encouraging, I thought.<br />
Well the time came to start the semester, and working full time, with school, plus two sets of clinicals, I wanted to start working on the hours as soon as possible. I set up my first clinical with my preceptor and met her that morning bright and early. Wow... was I overwhelmed!!! I didn't think I could do it, and she could tell. She was so sweet and kept asking me if I was doing alright, and how I was holding up, encouraging me that the first day is just orienting really to figure out where everything was. Well I made it through that day and thought I wouldn't stop, I would keep going. <br />
Day after day it got a little easier, and to say my preceptor helped me is a HUGE understatement! I would get overwhelmed, and then be reassured that I was right where I should be. Well I came to not only enjoy my capstone clinicals, I loved them! I got to meet some amazing people that work on the unit at Primary Children's! The nurses are wonderful, the doctors are very nice, and not intimidating (of course, there are always exceptions to the rules!) and my preceptor is so positive that it was hard not to have it rub off. I was also able to meet so many nice patients and their families. There was one in particular that helped me so much, she is so sweet, and so encouraging, I looked forward to seeing her and her adorable little girl each clinical. <br />
Rather than going to just get my hours done, I looked forward to going, and I will truly miss my time there. It kind of hit me this morning that I wouldn't be going back and it was really hard for me. I am definitely going to apply to the children's hospital and might be able to work my way into the PICU, but it will take some time, and who knows, maybe I belong somewhere else in the hospital. However, I know with out a doubt I was suppose to be in the PICU for my capstone, and I'm truly grateful that I was, and that I was able to meet so many amazing, inspirational people!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-66654592668598011502011-11-25T23:48:00.005-07:002011-11-26T14:54:55.661-07:00Holiday Surrounded by FamilyThis Thanksgiving I was looking forward to being surrounded by immediate and extended family. It was SO good to see some of my cousins that I haven't seen in over 5 years. Get caught up and just chat with them. I was able to talk with my Grandma a bit, and say Hi to my Grandpa while he wondered by, he never stays in one area long. My brother made an incredible turkey and the food was delicious. Everyone brought a dish... except me... I'm pretty busy during the week and so my parents didn't want to add the pressure of bringing something. Overall I was thankful for this, wish I could have, but glad I didn't have the added responsibility. My brother, Dad, and I were delivering food from the kitchen while everyone was filtering through and eating. When everyone had their food, we grabbed our plates and dished up. I then realized being single I didn't have anyone that would have saved me a seat. I was worried for a second until my sister waved me over, she had saved me a seat next to her. I was SO grateful to her for this. It was a great day and I was so glad to be surrounded by family that is so supportive of everyone. <br />This semester has been a struggle for me. Learning about the community and the responsibility to your community you will have by being a nurse. As well as the job opportunities that are available in the community, such as Home Health, Hospice, Nursing Homes, situations like that. Then onto Psychiatric Nursing. This has been hard for me emotionally. The clinical isn't nearly has hard as I thought, the patients are great, and I actually am anxious to see how they are doing when I go to clinicals. The emotional part comes from seeing how people deal psychologically with issues they have in their life, and how that affects there lives. Yeah... lets just say I have a LOT to work on, and may now understand why I don't get asked out. Also why I isolate into my room when I'm trying to work on things, and eat a big plate of not good for you greasy food. I also hate asking for help... I think this is the big one. I'm a people pleaser, and define myself by how others view me. <br />I was really looking forward to having this holiday, but I've been quieter than normal, looking more inward at my actions, and what I bring to things. When really I should have just stepped back and enjoyed the holiday because it was amazing! I've tried to resist isolation, and have spent some time shopping with family and talking. Tomorrow we are going to the aquarium as a big family, it should be fun. <br />I'm slowly feeling beat down... Work is hard, and I feel like more is being asked of me and I'm trying. School is getting harder, clinical hours will triple for next semester, the hours will stay the same at work, and studying will have to be a priority as the NCLEX (boards) come closer. I don't know who to talk to really... Everyone says it will be fine, and I'm sure it will. I just feel a huge weight on my shoulder, and instead of lightening it, its just feeling steadily heavy, maybe heavier some days. Somedays I wish there was someone that would be home waiting for me, just to give me a hug and tell me I can do it. I think I'm finally ready to admit... I don't want to do this alone... but I will do it no matter what! Alone if needs be... but my want is to have someone by my side. It's just a wish... a Christmas wish.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-31739729486221762312011-08-16T20:05:00.002-06:002011-08-16T20:14:03.406-06:00Frustration...So I really try not to complain here all that much, maybe that's why I haven't had a post here for awhile... I'm pretty sure I suffer from summer depression. I love the fall and can't wait for the cooler weather and warmer clothes. I love wearing jeans and a sweater!
<br />Today has just been one of those days. I woke up and it all went down hill from there. I cried at work for hours (which in a glass cubicle is just not so fun when you are a private person and like to hide any emotion that you possibly can). For lunch a couple of girls from work and I went to a quilt shop. It's amazing to me what even just looking at fabric and the endless possibilities that you can do with it! So I was a little happier, but it didn't last. Really it was just a bad day, and I don't want to go into specifics, it was just hard.
<br />I also went on a date. It was fun, I had fun. It was a double date and the couple I went with is starting to be some of my favorite people in my ward. We played games and laughed. Then came the good bye... what is it about saying good bye that can relay so much information??? Like... it was nice to meet you, you would be a nice friend, it was fun... yeah... a dot dot dot. I remember why I only really go on a date every year or so. The guy was really nice, and like I said I had a great time. However, there is always analyzing of what I did wrong, and why I know I will never hear from him again. I'm not sure what I do, but it happens every time.
<br />My greatest fear in life is failure. Not to die, not to be alone, but to fail. Leave this life accomplishing nothing and to mess up the things I long to do. This week, especially today, it feels like that is all I am doing.
<br />Great way to start the new school year ahead! I guess its only up from here. Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-83891647075195046512011-03-29T21:39:00.002-06:002011-03-29T21:57:19.188-06:00Writing Letters...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTGGX4mQidM_hJBJ6xTxY_h8rsWpmgTAVsNtd4BQVFLGbcWOmYVLX53NubehM1FUp8yWuTpQgrKxlk5am5G-EBsfo_8OUBjRcSWjAy09BqyPOqeUiQCDrdOSkx9Z6EelCMqRX03Bu2nchN/s400/Writing2.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 319px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTGGX4mQidM_hJBJ6xTxY_h8rsWpmgTAVsNtd4BQVFLGbcWOmYVLX53NubehM1FUp8yWuTpQgrKxlk5am5G-EBsfo_8OUBjRcSWjAy09BqyPOqeUiQCDrdOSkx9Z6EelCMqRX03Bu2nchN/s400/Writing2.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />So lately I've been seeing movies, or television that seem to talk a lot about writing letters, actual letters. Showing people writing letters or reading letters. Letters are an art form, a nearly lost art form. Which is sad. Typing emails, and status updates, and instant messages, even text messages, or emotionless. Even extremely moving emails that most girls keep, like they would letters, aren't nearly as personal. The typeface is general, the words are tapped, while a letter the words are carefully scratched across a paper with permanence that no sentiment can be backspaced easily. <br />So what is this post even about, or is it about anything really??? Well it is. I miss getting letters, writing letters, the effort it takes to take the paper and put the pen to it and mark it, (just like my <a href="http://romantichopeless.blogspot.com/2007/07/showdown.html">poem</a>). Even if you hit a blank, though must go into a letter. After its written its folded carefully, placed in an envelope and then put into a box. The letter slowly, yes it takes a few day, which to me is part of its charm, to reach the intended reader. A general piece of paper becoming something intimate between two friends, two lovers, two family members. Each one specifically for them. A piece of paper that you can read over and over again and see the authors hand writing and scrolls on each paper, each meant just for them. <br />In old times without internet, cell phones, or instant message with picture it would take weeks to get letters from family members. I was not alive through this time, but my grandparents were, and I know that when they had passed, there were letters after letters that were old and worn that were saved because it showed the sentiment growing between them. What can we say today? Print out the typed pages of emails to pass down? Who is to say that it's written by me? Is this my hand writing? I love to look back at my great-grandmothers notes, even just to herself, letters between loved ones that I have been able to come across. <br />So to quickly sum up this "short" post... which I have now made long... I feel this generation is missing out on the personalities that came with letters, the effort it took to write a letter, and... well I am missing letters. The beauty of a hand written letter will never, in my mind, be replaced by a typed letter.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-47517536988639055032011-03-10T20:42:00.002-07:002011-03-10T21:00:29.239-07:00Wonderings<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://journeysanddestinations.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/north-and-south1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 505px; height: 421px;" src="http://journeysanddestinations.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/north-and-south1.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This last weekend I was on spring break and wanted to just take it easy at home before I started my Pediatric Nursing course. I've heard it's intense, and I figure I won't get much alone time. Anyways, my dear friend Felicity has told me over and over to watch North & South and I was looking through Netflix on my apple tv and realized that it was streaming free, so I started to watch it. <br />I had been slow to watch this because I always thought it was about the American North & South, and wanted to be in the right frame of mind for the issues that come along with that time of history. However, I was mistaken, it was England's North & South (see I would have known this had I paid attention to the fact that it IS a BBC production...). <br />I was enthralled from the first episode, even if it's a predictable show, as all these shows are. But it is something about this time frame that just engrosses me. The art of a relationship that is more than physical, as it was improper to kiss until engagement. Something that is grown from things that are not just surface deep. Couples walked around the grounds and spoke to each other. While in my life sometimes I realize that I try to appease the people that I talk with, the thing I find most intriguing is that I admire the main women character in these shows because they speak from their heart and hold to their desires. If it is not something they want, even if those around them think it is best, they hold true to themselves, and seek for what truly makes them happy. <br />The music, the scenery, the clothing, all make this movie near the top of my list of favorites. It's hard to put in words how these movies encourage me to be a strong independent woman. I know this sounds contradictory to the fact that the women don't end up alone, but what they don't need the relationship to be happy. <br /> It's been a long time since I've been in a relationship, gosh, even been on a date. But, recently I've realized how exciting life is, how much there is to take in and how full my life can be, no matter my relationship status.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-2897266657594167322011-02-01T18:30:00.002-07:002011-02-01T18:45:42.527-07:00Life Currently...So here I sit, studying on my make shift "desk", which happens to be my bed with pillows set up all around me, one for my textbook, one for my laptop, and then my lap is free for my note taking and underlining. I'm not going to complain about studying, because for once I am absolutely loving my class. This is surprising because I thought this would be the one that I would just want to hurry through to move on to what was next. When I found out that the clinical (time in the hospital shadowing a nurse, and helping with patient care) included the NICU I was ecstatic! For some reason, since high school, I have felt drawn to work in the NICU, it's actually what pushed me back into school (a whole post all it's own... someday I will write), but had yet to even be in the NICU. I knew it would be hard, and that there are some serious sick babies in there, and many may not survive. However, I felt like I was where I needed to be. It was an amazing day and I can't wait for more. <br />So, school is going well, and I have friends that I talk to, which makes me like it even more, I feel part of the group, and the feelings and frustrations about school that I do have, are usually shared with many people in my class. It's comforting in a way. <br />My personal life on the other hand... I guess could use some work. Well... to be honest, I don't have a life outside of work and school. I know it's hard to push one more thing in my life, but I find it lacking when I get home from a long day at the hospital with all these experiences and I came home to an empty room and pull out my textbook and start to study. I'm not complaining, which I know it sounds like I am... I don't know how I would fit dating in right now, and really I don't know anyone that's interested enough to even think about asking, so I've pretty much moved past the longing, depressing, why not me, phase. But to be honest, who doesn't want someone important to talk to, share things with, and move through life's ups and downs with. It hasn't stopped being a desire... in any way... I've just stopped focusing on what I don't have. <br />Work is going well, I just got an award for 10 years of service, I have been there for 12. That job has gotten me through a lot, and it's a little bitter sweet leaving in just over a year. They know I am leaving and have encouraged me in my school work. <br />That's about all with me, work and school... but how lucky am I to be able to go to nursing school, have a job that can make that possible, and family and friends that can encourage me when times are hard.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-61641984117696451162010-12-30T23:22:00.002-07:002010-12-30T23:38:21.308-07:00Resolutions 2011So I was reading through last years blog. I knew that I had written a few resolutions down. I said that I wasn't one for resolutions but lately in my life I have realized that I'm a goal oriented person. I feel that this year I would do better if I wrote down the things I truly wanted, and will work hard to accomplish. <br />I wrote 4 things I wanted to do/work on: Being more approachable, more organized, more social during school time, and last but not least... date.<br />While I am happy to say I have worked on all of these, sadly I think I only really accomplished 2. I have been more approachable to those I go to school with, and more importantly the patients I have worked with during my time in the hospitals for school. I have also gone on at least 2 dates this year (I know... not many, but more than usual for me!). <br />So, for this year's list I will add again to be more organized. This is truly something I am going to put more effort into. School things organized makes me less stressed, and the room and car more organized helps me focus and relax to spend more time on the things I really need to focus on. <br />I have also come to realize that while I miss socializing during school, I talk to my really important friends. I don't get to see them much, but we do talk. They are my life support during the rush of school work and stress. I need to talk with them, so I will keep that up, but I now realize that I need to focus on school, and my true friends understand (although I think we are all ready to spend more time together during summer break!).<br />This year I am going to add to my list! I want to really budget my money, and not just grudgingly because of my "starving student" status. I really want to plan out my money, pay my bills ahead of time, as well as maybe save a little. I'm tired of my budget and money being a burden that I try to avoid rather than keep under control. <br />I want to work on test stress. I finally got my cumulative GPA above 3.5, which working full time, and nursing school full time, makes me pretty happy. However, the tests get me everytime. I am getting better, but would like to focus my stress a little more, so I want to look into meditation and things like that. <br />The big one this year I want to tackle is my weight. While I don't particularly look overweight... I am, technically by the books, overweight. This alone wouldn't make me unhappy, but I don't like looking at my closet full of clothes and knowing that I can only fit in 1/4 of them (and this is being VERY generous). I hate having to buy bigger and bigger sizes everytime I look for clothes. I finally bought myself a scale so I can see some progress when I work out and cut out some calories. <br />I would also like to feel more confident in my nursing abilities. My clinical instructor last semester had great faith in me and what I did during those times in the hospital with the patients. I enjoyed (nearly) every minute of my clinicals and it helped cement the information from the textbooks, but I would like to trust my instincts and feel more confident. I know that this comes with time, and they say you don't really get the hang of nursing until about 2 years into the job, this means OUT of school. So I won't rush myself... just something I would like to work on. So it goes on the list! <br />Hope everyone is having a wonderful time during the many holidays celebrated. I'm very excited to see what 2011 holds!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-68554322019687556152010-10-26T09:16:00.003-06:002010-10-26T09:32:29.177-06:00What I Miss...So I haven't been able to do much lately but work and school. I think it's starting to be noticeable. Nursing school is definitely aging me. LOL. I miss hanging out with my friends, my family, going to the movies, reading books that I enjoy, and lately I've really been missing sewing. I went to a Fall Frenzy quilt shop hop, which started it. They have so many cute patterns and fabrics out right now and I just don't have the time. With this in mind I was able to restrain myself and just looked... oh wait... I bought 3 yards of assorted fabrics! My stash is just growing and growing! (At least I won't be at a loss of what to do this summer on my break!)Also it's fall... which is my favorite fabric and patterns so they are everywhere in the store. I'm starting to really like pumpkin patterns and fabrics with pumpkins on them. Very cute! <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy2UwDiFlqWj-6n3nm9Awur9BFUZv-8U6zYDuoDOjGEkv9rsjWkL1alQxd1TKzKSNz28kUEfAjcw00m3hi6zG7Zlj2bj3GCAfoizyC3AJVpP8010dUHavWAoYpxwmKwAAHMjHED32prBY/s1600/fpurse.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy2UwDiFlqWj-6n3nm9Awur9BFUZv-8U6zYDuoDOjGEkv9rsjWkL1alQxd1TKzKSNz28kUEfAjcw00m3hi6zG7Zlj2bj3GCAfoizyC3AJVpP8010dUHavWAoYpxwmKwAAHMjHED32prBY/s320/fpurse.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532377987502660578" /></a><br />Anyways, I'm starting to ramble... I was able to sew this purse for my friend Felicity. I hope she liked it. We picked out the fabric together. Also I tried a new magnetic button. I sewed the strong magnet directly into the purse and fabric, its not as easy as you would think. You do after all have a metal foot on your machine that tends to hold the magnet tight (it was actually pretty funny how it would pull the fabric you were sewing into the side of the foot). Anyways, hope everyone is enjoying this wonderful season! It's my favorite!!!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-72388029345892944092010-10-08T20:04:00.002-06:002010-10-08T21:55:25.504-06:00Another 100 Things...Last night I was looking at my old posts and came across <a href="http://romantichopeless.blogspot.com/2007/11/100-things.html">this</a> one. I read through it and while its all true, it's been awhile and things change... So I thought I would update my list. :)<br />1. I'm currently a junior in nursing school.<br />2. I'm also working as a legal assistant full time. <br />3. Because of #1 &2, I don't have much free time, and therefore I don't really have a life.<br />4. Realizes now that this list may be hard because of #3.<br />5. I am addicted to the Sweet Tooth Fairy's Red Velvet cupcake... it's divine! <br />6. I love medical shows (even more now that I know what they are talking about!)<br />7. My dream car is an Audi R8 Spyder.<br />8. I love the fashion of the '50's. <br />9. I miss going to the movies, and will definitely be cramming a lot of those in during the holiday break.<br />10. 12 hour clinicals for school are long, and hard... but honestly I love them!<br />11. I would really like to lose 40 lbs. <br />12. I LOVE to see Blue October in concert! (Happy my brother decided to take me when he won tickets the day before their last one)<br />13. Wish I could go on vacation to Boston or Seattle... actually both.<br />14. One day I will go to Disneyland during my favorite holiday... Halloween!!<br />15. I love to do peoples Halloween makeup. <br />16. I miss reading books for fun.<br />17. I want to make a pie this Thanksgiving... a first!<br />18. I am still a sucker for a man on a motorcycle. <br />19. I'm afraid of failure.<br />20. I'm gaining more confidence.<br />21. I have a fantasy of being kissed in the rain (as does almost every girl).<br />22. I took a knitting class this summer with my friend Julia, I've bought a lot of yarn... and haven't knit anything else!<br />23. After a relapse of mono this summer, I have become addicted to NCIS (marathon on USA... for two days).<br />24. I still sing in my car... loudly!<br />25. I don't like chocolate.<br />26. I'm addicted to In & Out's fries! (It doesn't help that In&Out and Sweet Tooth Fairy share a parking lot!!!)<br />27. I have a bouquet of velvet roses from my great grandfathers funeral. <br />28. My dream house will have a ginormous bathtub!<br />29. Although I'm going into nursing, I still enjoy interior design.<br />30. I love buying quilting fabric, it just makes me smile!<br />31. I hate going to the grocery store. <br />32. I've realized I'm an emotional/stress eater... nursing school does not help this!<br />33. Would love to own a cabin someday.<br />34. I'm a sucker for a nice TV, and DVD player. <br />35. I have insomnia issues, and have to take ambien sometimes.<br />36. I want to see Wicked again.<br />37. I love showtunes!<br />38. I make a fool of myself quite a lot.<br />39. I don't like the taste of water... but still trying.<br />40. I love watching movies over and over to get a new perspective on it.<br />41. I don't like confrontation. <br />42. I am afraid of rejection.<br />43. I love the holidays with my family. <br />44. I enjoy dancing, but know I can't do it well, that's why I dance only when I'm alone.<br />45. Always wanted to act in a musical... and then I realized I can't really sing that well.<br />46. I don't like getting attention, it makes me blush. <br />47. I don't like talking about politics with people, I have views, but choose not to discuss them.<br />48. I have a large collection of bath towels... and its just me. <br />49. I buy myself tulips and roses occasionally. <br />50. I love foods made with pumpkin!<br />51. I miss hanging out with my friends, and studying instead.<br />52. I have a hard time letting go of clothes that are too small... I keep saying I'll fit in them again.<br />53. I love to make soup! <br />54. I can't wait for fall!!! The leaves, the food, the cool crisp air, the clothes! <br />55. I enjoy going to the movies alone. <br />56. I don't like getting pedicures at a salon, so I do them myself.<br />57. I realize now that while I'm shy... when I get to know someone, I talk too much.<br />58. I window shop online because I don't have time to go to the stores. <br />59. I still can't take a compliment well.<br />60. I still have test anxiety, but its getting better. <br />61. I want to learn tai chi.<br />62. I have a large collection of cooking and quilting magazines. <br />63. I've realized lately most of my sentences begin with: Someday...<br />64. I'm a recovering procrastinator. <br />65. Every car I drive I seem to ruin something in the engine that baffles my Dad. <br />66. I love to eat out for breakfast!<br />67. I have some shoes that are just too painful to wear, but I can't get rid of them, because they are SO cute!<br />68. There are only two things I sew. Quilts, and bags. <br />69. I would love to go to a heavy weight boxing match.<br />70. I think I'm creative... until I'm with my sister!<br />71. I can listen to the same song over and over.<br />72. I LOVE movie theatre popcorn.<br />73. I love walking in the rain. <br />74. I love reading a book on a blanket in the park. <br />75. I still love the Disney classic movies. <br />76. I enjoy going out to eat with friends and family.<br />77. I'm a daddy's girl. <br />78. I'm also very close to my mom. <br />79. Lately I feel like I'm losing my mind and can't remember anything.<br />80. I enjoy cooking, but only in my own kitchen.<br />81. I make some great oatmeal chocolate chip cookies!<br />82. I hate having my picture taken.<br />83. Wish I could go camping more.<br />84. I like fly fishing, but would like to spend more time and get better.<br />85. I never sing in the shower, I don't like hearing my own voice.<br />86. Often when my dad and I go on a movie date, we go to two movies, one right after another. (He likes movies as much as I do). <br />87. One of my new favorite foods is fried pickles!<br />88. I love wearing high heels to work, but take them off almost as soon as I sit at my desk.<br />89. I love going on road trips, with people I like that is...<br />90. I don't like mint.<br />91. I like to make people smile!<br />92. I enjoy hosting parties.<br />93. My favorite movie is Pride & Prejudice.<br />94. Physical humor (people falling, or running into something) is my favorite!<br />95. I bruise very easily. <br />96. Probably one of my favorite dishes is steak or chicken salad. <br />97. Will one day go to the Shakespearean Festival.<br />98. I enjoy putting puzzles together on New Years Eve.<br />99. I can't wait to be a nurse!<br />100. This took WAY longer than it should have!!!<br /><br />Hope that wasn't too boring to read... You should try it! It's harder than you would think. :)Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-24904294973601593492010-07-13T20:54:00.002-06:002010-07-13T21:19:02.405-06:00Footprints...So, I know I don't update this much, and I'm not really sure how many people read this. But, I was heading out of my class tonight and caught a glimpse of someone in a car that looked like a dear friend of mine. Someone I haven't been able to see or talk to for about a year. I keep seeing him places. <br />It made me think of a quote that I saw on a plaque once, "People come and go in your life, but true friends leave footprints behind." <br />I started to think of all the friends that have come into my life over the last few years. I have so many people that have left footprints in my heart and in my life. So many people that have influenced me and help give me strength throughout the days. I'm sure they don't even know how much they help me. <br />I have been threw some hardships in my life, but with the family and friends I have, I have a hard time complaining about them. I have a wonderful family and siblings that love me, and can joke around with me, and build me up to be a stronger person. They are family that in the hardest of times I can lean on. They are my rock, my foundation. I love them dearly.<br />I have some amazing friends. I would dare say some of the best on the planet! Felicity is like a sister. We have been friends for over half of my life now and I love that I can call her stressed out about school, and she is going through the same thing, if not harder. She is amazingly smart and a wonderful friend.<br />Julia was a roommate that turned into a very close friend. She is the Rachel in our little "Friends" group and I love her for it! She is someone that has seen me at my worst, from crying to yelling, to something in between. I still have a hard time getting ready for a date and not sending her a picture asking if I look alright. She started me on my obsession with purses (to go along with the shoe one I already had). I miss the late night runs to Sonic.<br />Kellee makes me laugh! She is our Phoebe, and yes there is someone actually like her! She says some of the most random things, and is carefree, and loves everything, especially animals. She is a friend that can take any and all of my venting, from work to school, to the crazy driver on the freeway in front of me. She can laugh at my being neurotic and is a hopeless romantic, firm in the idea that my Prince Charming is out there. She won't let me give up. <br />I have so many friends that I could go on and on about, I truly am blessed, but I don't want to bore anyone reading this so I will stop. But I will finish with the friend that started me thinking about this. <br />He was a friend that would just sit with me and watch tv while I studied, not needing to talk, not needing anything from me. Just sitting with me. Every now and then messing with the camera on my Mac (I still have a picture he took of himself that I can't erase). I remember a conversation we had just before he got married, it was almost a good bye conversation and I cried at losing him, but understood. I spoke with him periodically through out the years until he was deported. He called me to tell me that he was okay, and that he had made it to his country. The last time I spoke with him was right after the tsunami hit Samoa, where he is, and I was so glad to hear that he was okay. His wife is visiting as much as she can, and she really brings him so much join. I am so happy he has her in his life. For some reason I have seen him multiple times over the last few days and it worries me a bit. My heart goes out to him and his wife and I pray that both are safe. <br />I miss my friend dearly!!!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-55913737260419758302010-05-16T22:30:00.003-06:002010-05-16T22:44:54.041-06:00A Needed PushI have thought and wanted to update my blog all day, but unsure how to approach it. I feel like a lot of my entries are about being single, and complaining, which I don't want to do. I'm actually very grateful for where I am in my life right now. I can't imagine working full time, going to nursing school full time and trying to fit in time for dating. <br />With that being said, one of my best friends, Felicity, and I, went to two movies this weekend. Letters to Juliet and Robin Hood. Both were great. I cried in Letters to Juliet, but felt this overwhelming feeling of hope, and inspiration. In these types of movies, yes, I'm talking chick flicks, the main characters show so much passion. I watch these characters, these women, (as well as men) follow their hearts and their passions, in extraordinary ways. <br />I know that I am following my heart and my passion, but the hard thing for me to remember is that this dream isn't going to happen overnight. As well as the fact that it isn't the easiest thing to accomplish. I've struggled through my classes, but in doing so, I'm learning about the strength that I have, and even if I'm not doing as well as I want, I'm still doing great. <br />Robin Hood was a different tale than I have seen of Robin Hood, and I wasn't sure how I felt about Cate Blanchett being Maid Marian, however, her class and stature brought something different to this character than I had felt before. Not only was she independent, and feisty (which is one of the reasons I LOVE Maid Marian) but she brings silent strength and a willingness to do the right thing. <br />Overall this weekend I have felt a push for inner strength and renewal of passion in my life.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-32407222481841463722010-05-13T12:10:00.003-06:002010-05-13T12:17:22.268-06:00Finished Project!Well, I remembered to take a picture! Well, okay, really I just took it with my phone to send to my friends to show them, but figured I would post it here as well. <br />I finished this purse for myself, and I LOVE it! <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7PLui6gpDGuJ7dG9bpxVETUYlysQQsEPs5apaXuuxj3PHzshALi1KNW8lHcqR1cURRGgPrYcmvZ14-alYwlJbxQvrmNT9YtA62T7P-mjcPFZdP5SH4NwEof8fcqP9gXUxr72wqDhFMk4/s1600/purse.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7PLui6gpDGuJ7dG9bpxVETUYlysQQsEPs5apaXuuxj3PHzshALi1KNW8lHcqR1cURRGgPrYcmvZ14-alYwlJbxQvrmNT9YtA62T7P-mjcPFZdP5SH4NwEof8fcqP9gXUxr72wqDhFMk4/s200/purse.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470819429928666066" /></a>I finished it while watching Underworld that I have saved on my Tivo. I've decided for some reason I love to sew while watching/listening to action movies. Now just to finish my knitted scarf, my sisters purse, my sister-in-law's purse, and my nephews blanket.<br />I am loving this summer thing. I wish I could fit in just a few more movies!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-64944252747202351222010-05-09T20:19:00.002-06:002010-05-09T20:34:37.601-06:00Hello Blog... I've missed you!Wow! That semester was... well... HARD! <br />I worked full time while going to school full time and no one really explains to you that not only is nursing text books hard to memorize and the tests are confusing and there are like 3 out of 4 right answers but you have to pick the MOST right, the paperwork is crazy! I had no idea I would have to do papers every two weeks that would take approx. 6-8 hours and have a night to do it. Anyways... I survived, and I pulled out a 3.2 for the semester! Now... only 2 more years! <br />But hey, it's summer! Time to celebrate! <br />So what have I done to celebrate?? Sew!!!! Oh, and fabric shopping! I've sewn two purses, so far and bought way more fabric than I should have. Oh, and I also signed up and took one knitting class with my friend Juls. I know, I sound like an eighty year old grandma and I'm only 31! However, I heard that knitting is very relaxing and I need to find something to do during the crazy semesters to keep my mind somewhat sane, so I'm going to be trying a lot of things this summer. Knitting, meditation, tai chi, and get back into yoga.<br />I forgot to take pictures of the purses I've sewn since school has been out prior to giving them to the people I sewed them for, but I will try to remember to post the summer projects that I finish. <br />Also I'm trying to spend time with my family and friends. I really feel like I've lost touch with a lot of people during this last semester. On the first day of classes we had an 8 hour nursing program orientation and one of my professor said that nursing school was like entering a convent... How true that feels! I know it will be worth it, and I will keep pushing through the next semesters, but for right now, I'm enjoying summer break!!!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-65254302360930438272010-02-18T22:37:00.002-07:002010-02-18T22:51:19.578-07:00AHHHHHHH!!!!!Okay, when I started the process of going back to school and applying to the nursing program everyone said it was hard. I was worried, I'll admit it, but at the same time, I felt ready. But how is it that when others tell you something will be hard you never realize HOW hard until you are doing it yourself. <br />It just seems like every day blends together, work, school, school, work. 12 hour days and then homework and studying. Then I sit and I think, is this what I want? Is this really the work I want to do? Is this work really going to pay off in the end? <br />And then.... THEN...<br />I watch a show, a show like Grey's Anatomy, or Private Practice, or Mercy and then I remember. I remember why I started this. I remember that there is a passion inside that longs to be in a hospital with patients. <br />Tonight on Private Practice they showed the NICU, where I want to work. It always lifts me and can get me through the next round of tests, prep paperwork, or case studies. <br />Then on Mercy a couple weeks ago the nurse, Veronica, was going through a personal hardship and her dad sat down with her and told her that he understood that she was struggling, but that he knew that she would make it through it, because she always did. She was his girl. I cried instantly as the memory of my own Dad rushed at me. Him telling me that exact thing, that I was his girl, and that I would make it through. I'm not a person that is very open with my feelings, I don't tell my family how much they mean to me. My Dad is a strength to me that he will never fully be able to understand. <br />I will make it through school, I can make it through the long days of full time work and full time nursing school because I am stronger than I think I am. Faith in every footstep, strength in every day.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-34409717368019606072010-01-30T22:09:00.002-07:002010-01-30T22:15:38.297-07:00Sick...So here I sit in my room thinking of all the things I should be doing, and all I can do is sit on my bed and wipe my nose. I hate being sick! Especially on the weekends, and when I know that when Monday comes it will be non stop going to work and school. <br />The days seem so long lately. I usually have 12 hour days with full time work and school. I know it will pay off and I'm trying not to complain, but really, it will be nice when it's over. <br />I've been thinking a lot lately about different things, random things. I've watched a few chick flicks lately and near the end I always think why do we watch these movies? You know the end, they are predictable, but they still give me that giddy happy smiley feelings. I know the couple is perfect for each other and that they will end up together, and it makes me happy. However, I know that this is far removed from reality, but aren't movies there for an escape of reality? Well for me they are. Sometimes the fairy tale is a great escape from the reality that crashes into me each and every morning. <br />Anyways, this post seems more of a rant while I sit at home sick rather than a purposeful post. So I will end it and study and sleep... at some point sleep will come.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-17788279764338269732010-01-01T22:49:00.003-07:002010-01-01T23:00:16.496-07:00Hello 2010So I have been looking at blogs the last few days and I can't help to notice that everyone is excited and happy to say goodbye to 2009. While I'm excited to move on with my life and start the new chapter of nursing school, I didn't hate 2009. <br />I had some hard moments and had to face a lot of personal issues I didn't know I had, but overall it was an alright year. I made some major growth that only I can truly be aware of, but it makes me happy. It was hard to face things I didn't like about myself, and harder to change some things, but it's been worth it. <br />I digress... While I didn't hate 2009 I'm very excited for 2010. School starts next week and while I will be pulling 12 hour days every day with full time work and full time school I know it will pay off. <br />I looked back at the post I made this time last year and I said I had no resolutions and no high hopes in change. I've never been one for resolutions but this year I find myself making mental notes of goals I want to make for the year ahead. <br />I want to be more approachable. I'm kind of a shy person and I've come to realize that it comes across not as me being shy, but me being overly confident or rude. I'm going to work on that.<br />I want to work on my organization. While I am organized, it only appears that way to me. I want to be able to have others see that I'm organized and run my life orderly, and not just haphazardly and crazy.<br />I want to make time for a social life. I didn't really do this that well last semester and I fear that this semester will just be worse. However, I want to try to make time for that. Everyone needs a social life.<br />Date. One word... but so hard for me to do. Like I said I've been pretty busy so I don't have a lot of time. But I miss dating, having fun, talking to someone and finding out about them. First dates aren't the best, I refer to them as the "job interview date", but it's been awhile and I would like to get at least one in this year. <br />So there you go. My first shot at resolutions... Bring it on 2010!!!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-55932079812393677442009-12-10T08:15:00.002-07:002009-12-10T08:20:20.398-07:00WishingSo here I sit at work hoping that the nauseated feeling I have goes away because I am just too busy to get sick! I have finals coming up and then straight into the busy holiday week. Oh! I forgot about the homework I have been assigned over the break as well. So needless to say I don't need to get sick right now.<br />On to the reason of this post. I'm sitting at my desk and trying to distract myself for a few moments then back to work. So how to I distract myself? I go to a few of my favorite websites! (of course) So I went to my favorite one www.modabakeshop.com and now all I want to do is go home and sew a quilt. I've also recently been getting a bug to learn how to knit. Someday after school I will take a class. <br />I wish I could just take a weekend and sew and get caught up with some projects that have been put on hold. There is nothing like sticking in a movie and sewing to relax you and bring you back to center. <br />Hopefully in the mess of all the holidays I will get a day or two to do just this!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-31685894351005833642009-12-08T11:22:00.002-07:002009-12-08T11:33:26.291-07:00Long Time... I know!Okay, so I keep meaning to update here, but I always think... no one reads this. But here I sit in the cafeteria of school looking out at the snow covering the construction going on. I miss the campus how it was. I know it will be better, but I just wish it was done. <br />Anyways... Update on me. I was suppose to get a letter in the mail the day before Thanksgiving to tell me if I was accepted into the nursing program I had applied to. Well the night before, I had a dream that it got lost in the mail and I had to go in and ask if I was accepted on the following Monday. Day after day I sat at the window trying to concentrate on the homework that I had watching the mailbox. I get the mail in between 4-6 PM! And to no avail the letter did in fact get lost in the mail (still haven't received it) and I had to go ask on Monday if I was accepted... And I WAS! <br />I got into the nursing program in the school I wanted, my #1 choice!! I was so excited to hear.<br />So now just to pass the current classes and keep trying to work full time, and nursing school full time. The schedule isn't the best, and I will pretty much have no social life... but it's only 2 and a half years! Then... I get to work in my dream job! I really am so excited. <br />I have actually been so blessed with all my friends and the things going on in my life. I'm also writing a fictional short story that seems to be getting some pretty good reviews which has been a lot of fun. I have also been able to hang out with my friends, granted not nearly as much as I would like, but it's something. <br />Finals are the end of this week into next week so I will be buried in my textbooks until then, but then... the Holidays! I love Christmas, and even though I spend New Year's Eve alone (by choice) I love it! I sit down watch an action movie (nothing to do with romance) and work on a puzzle. I still have the one I worked on last year which I'm so excited to hopefully finish. Some much needed alone relaxation time. <br />It's been a good few months!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-84660431261248925492009-08-02T22:03:00.003-06:002009-08-02T22:14:32.202-06:00Funny!Okay, so when something funny happens I automatically think, "I'm going to blog about this!" But inevitably it comes and goes, and the post just doesn't happen. However... Friday night I went to the movies and realized I HAD to post about the experience. <br />So my sister text me and said that they were going to the $1 movie to see Wolverine: X-men Origins and was wondering if I wanted to join them. I didn't hesitate and said I would go!<br />So I left work a little early and headed straight to the theatre. They had previously bought my ticket and I entered and realized that other than a couple in the back the theatre was completely empty. Which is so nice by the way. <br />So the movie starts and its probably 30 or so minutes into the movie, and I hear this older woman yell "I can't see a darn thing!" "Can you see anything?!" Then I turn my head and they are right at our row. They proceed to move down the seats, passing ALL the empty seats making their way to us. They then start touching my brother-in-law saying "OH is someone there?" My brother-in-law informs them that there is, and they move down, doing the same thing to my sister, then down to me. She then tries to sit on me still, until I say "Yes, I'm here, the seat isn't empty" She responds surprised "OH dear! I'm so sorry" She then decides that she doesn't want to sit on that row, and slowly makes her way down the rest of the row (that was in fact empty) all the while talking to her friend down the aisle saying that she doesn't know where to sit, and asking where she wanted to go. They finally made there way to the row in front of us on the end that they first started on. <br />I couldn't stop laughing! Especially when they were finally seated my brother-in-law leaned over to my sister and said "Hey its you and your sister in 60 years" <br />Oh, and then after watching for about 45 minutes they decided they didn't like Wolverine and got up loudly and walked out. Seriously funny!!!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-46805814401898626442009-07-29T23:01:00.007-06:002009-07-29T23:44:37.047-06:00Current Top 5...Alright, so if you haven't been reading my blog for very long I have a Top 5 list of guys, usually actors, that I currently have a crush on. It's been awhile since I updated this list on my blog, it is after all a very fluid list. <br />So, let's get started!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/030617/164917__vartan_l.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 395px; height: 315px;" src="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/030617/164917__vartan_l.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>#1 Michael Vartan: I have liked this guy since Alias. I was so excited to see him return to a tv series, let alone a series about a nurse! Of course I was going to watch it. On last nights episode of HawthoRNe he reminded me why he should be on this list when he spoke French. Talk about going weak in the knees! *swoon* So far it's a great show and I hope it will be on for a long time!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3633/3351868226_f504700630.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 327px; height: 480px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3633/3351868226_f504700630.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>#2 Robert Pattinson: Being a Twilight fan, and excited for the second installment this guy had to make the list! If you've talked to me at all you know that I am an Edward fan through and through! I think with Taylor playing Jacob its a great casting job, and I don't hate Jacob anymore, but I will always LOVE Edward, and think that Rob does a great job of portraying him. I also think that Rob actually has a personality and I enjoy reading his interviews. Also if you haven't listened to the commentary of Twilight, you should give it a listen, very funny! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/hugh-jackman-in-ghostopolis.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/hugh-jackman-in-ghostopolis.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>#3 Hugh Jackman: Now what can you say about this actor?! He is a great actor, all accounts are that he is a great guy to talk to, very personable, a good husband and father, he is Australian, so he has a great accent... AND he can sing?!?! Now I'm not sure why he hasn't made the previous lists, but I am correcting this huge mistake right now, so please forgive me! The last movie I saw him in was Wolverine, which I thought was a great action movie. But I think I first realized how much I enjoyed his movie was "Someone Like You". A movie that he was in with Ashley Judd and Greg Kinnear. A great romantic comedy! <br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.easyart.com/i/prints/rw/lg/2/3/Celebrity-Image-Mark-Paul-Gosselaar-230789.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 400px;" src="http://images.easyart.com/i/prints/rw/lg/2/3/Celebrity-Image-Mark-Paul-Gosselaar-230789.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>#4 Mark Paul Gosselaar: Zac.... Saved by the Bell. Really the reason I watched this show growing up every Saturday. I was excited to see him back on TV when he entered the cast of NYPD Blue. I thought that he breathed new life into the series, and was sad that he was cast only to have the final season follow so shortly. I am very glad that Raising the Bar is now on TNT and is one of the many TNT Drama's that I now have a season pass on my TIVO for. I look forward to it every week! If you missed him on Jimmy Fallon you HAVE to<a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/76560/late-night-with-jimmy-fallon-saved-by-the-bell-reunion-update-3"> watch it</a>! HILARIOUS! He definitely hasn't lost his touch!<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.elle.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/elle/entertainment/men-we-love/best-friend-forever/365062-3-eng-US/Best-Friend-Forever_articleimage.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 325px; height: 385px;" src="http://www.elle.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/elle/entertainment/men-we-love/best-friend-forever/365062-3-eng-US/Best-Friend-Forever_articleimage.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>#5 Matthew Perry: I first got a crush on Matthew Perry when he played Chandler Bing on friends. He was the comic relief in so many episodes with his clever quips. Then it only grew when him and Monica hooked up, because... I'm SO much like Monica (it's a little scary actually). I loved their romance and the chemistry that they had, and that he was the calm to her crazy but loved her with all her flaws, and actually more so because of them rather than in spite of them. I also thought he did a great job in 17 again, and I thought he was hilarious when he appeared on Jimmy Fallon to promote it!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-40782055078739572702009-07-27T22:43:00.002-06:002009-07-27T23:00:27.511-06:00Not Myself...So lately I've been plugging through day by day. I feel like I'm in a rut. Today on facebook I put my status as "wonder's if I'm as forgettable as I feel sometimes". <br />Lately I can't explain it. My school seems to be going in the direction I want to, I've got the summer off and so I'm taking preparations to begin in the fall. I applied to the Westminster Nursing Program, and am waiting to see if I made it in. I assist three great guys at work that I really get along with, and I feel like I'm pretty on top of my tasks (at least most days). But... I feel like I'm not myself, and like I'm lacking... something. Which is SO specific I know, and therefore so easy to fix. I feel like my social life is missing. I still have some wonderful friends that I wouldn't trade for anything. And if you saw my schedule you would probably wonder where I would think to fit in more of a social life. <br />It's just missing.... Okay, maybe it's dating... <br />I may be missing dating, and I don't know how to approach it. At all. I've tried the online thing, and let me just put it in these terms... There IS a reason I have deleted all my profiles on these dating sites. I've tried the set up, and it never works out. I'm not sure if they just see my picture and decide that they don't even want to go out, or if they are just too busy, but I never hear anything from them. I go to my ward, but truly feel that if I'm not in the room the guys forget that I exist. <br />I hope this doesn't sound like a pity party. It's not meant to. I'm not sad, maybe a little blue. Contemplative may be a better word. I am not stuck in my ways, other than I am scared to death to ask a guy out. And YES the worst thing that they can say is No....<br />I just wish that I could flip to the last page in my life book and see "and they lived happily ever after". If I could see that... I think that I could make it through this in between stuff.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-54392605449991876672009-07-09T21:02:00.002-06:002009-07-09T21:12:55.592-06:00Focusing... Well Trying...I'm not sure why, but I feel the need to blog. Judging from my last post not many read this anyways so I guess this is more of a journal and place for me to think things out. <br />Like I said I'm not really sure why I feel the need to blog, I guess because tonight I'm feeling the need to talk to someone. I don't know why, but I don't call people when I feel this way, I hope that someone calls me, and if that ever happens I never tell them I needed to talk to someone. I guess I just like pretending like I'm strong and have it all together when really I feel like a meshy blob inside. I don't feel like I have anything together. I don't know who I am, what my purpose is, other than I want to be a nurse. With everything I am I want to be a nurse. I'm finishing my application into a great program and should have it in next week. I don't hear until November. (So... fingers crossed...)<br />I'm feeling out of sorts lately, and there really isn't a reason that I can place my finger on why. I currently don't have roommates, other than my brother and his family, and I feel a little out of place, or old for my ward. I know this is partially if not all my doing. To make new friends it's a lot of work, and getting out of your shell. Right now I feel like I'm trying to push my circle peg into the square peg in front of me. <br />I guess one step in life at a time. Faith in every footstep. Faith in every day.Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-4643441265065808412009-07-07T22:11:00.002-06:002009-07-07T22:14:20.802-06:00Two Years Old!Okay, so I know I haven't been updated my blog lately. Its sadly been put to the side, and I will try to fix that. Life has been a little crazy right now. But I saw this on another blog and thought it would be fun. <br />My blog is now two years old. So, please leave a comment, just any comment, wishing my blog a happy birthday, or even just to say Hi. Even the blog stalkers that stop by occasionally. :) <br />And I promise, I will update this thing with a real post soon!<br />Thanks!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7897007325590269193.post-8731775085972957432009-06-07T22:26:00.003-06:002009-06-07T22:41:02.601-06:00Trip to BoiseOkay, so I've been thinking about this post since the trip, its just taken me awhile to put it down, so... here goes.<br />My nephew was graduating so my parents and I decided to take a road trip to see the miraculous event (if Kevin reads this, he knows I'm kidding) and as much as I persisted to take my car (VW Passat) my mom insisted on taking theirs (Ford Expedition) that had just had new brakes put on and was still creaking a bit... So they picked me up at about 9am, after I had run some errands and got some snack food. I'm not a big morning person. I can get up and moving, but usually remain quiet until I am fully awake, if I take a shower, then its right after that, if I take a shower at night, that time increases in the morning. <br />So as we started out I put on my headphones and tuned into my iPod. We stopped in Farmington for gas and more road trip snack foods and then were on our way. About two hours (halfway) I needed to stop at the restroom and my dad decided Rupert would be a good idea. As we exited the tires made the WORST noise I had ever heard. It sounded like the axle was dropping off the tire and hitting the frame of the car. My mom started to freak out and grab the handle on the door and she started asking my dad what it was. As he was not under the car, he was not sure, but knew it was something with the brakes. We turned into the gas station and went to the bathroom. I love my parents dearly, but with stuff like this, I know my dad will figure it out and would just as soon tune out the discussion of how between the two of them... sometimes. So when I got back I put my iPod back on and waited to hear what we would be doing. Turns out that a bolt that held the brake on had shimmied out and no longer was holding the brake on. Rupert was only 5 miles off the exit so we decided to head that direction and hope to find a car parts place. As we headed toward the street my dad put the foot on the brake and it was a horrid sound. Before I know it he is turning the car around and driving backwards. At first I thought he was just going to try it out in the parking lot... OH NO! He drove as if the back of the car was the front down the main street of Rupert ID. (The brake was held in place if we stopped in reverse) He said he would go slow, but 45 mph backwards doesn't feel very slow. We came up behind a tractor/harvester and he pulled around it quite quickly. I was getting nauseous, my mom kept yelling that he wasn't going slow enough, I thought that we were going to die. My dad finally got sick because he was driving backwards so he turned around and decided to try the emergency brake. Well the emergency brake was just shaved down so it was not great at stopping... But we made it alive to a little car parts place called Schow's and this shop was AMAZING! They helped my dad find a bolt that would hold on the break until we could go to the wrecking yard and get the right one. They also did not charge us for the bolt they gave us. We made it to the wrecking yard, got the right bolt on and were on our way to Boise, ID. <br />I told my dad that although I thought we would die, it would be a great story that I'm sure we will talk about for years to come!Jacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746608415215335034noreply@blogger.com2