Current Top 5...

Alright, so if you haven't been reading my blog for very long I have a Top 5 list of guys, usually actors, that I currently have a crush on. It's been awhile since I updated this list on my blog, it is after all a very fluid list.
So, let's get started!
#1 Michael Vartan: I have liked this guy since Alias. I was so excited to see him return to a tv series, let alone a series about a nurse! Of course I was going to watch it. On last nights episode of HawthoRNe he reminded me why he should be on this list when he spoke French. Talk about going weak in the knees! *swoon* So far it's a great show and I hope it will be on for a long time!


#2 Robert Pattinson: Being a Twilight fan, and excited for the second installment this guy had to make the list! If you've talked to me at all you know that I am an Edward fan through and through! I think with Taylor playing Jacob its a great casting job, and I don't hate Jacob anymore, but I will always LOVE Edward, and think that Rob does a great job of portraying him. I also think that Rob actually has a personality and I enjoy reading his interviews. Also if you haven't listened to the commentary of Twilight, you should give it a listen, very funny!




#3 Hugh Jackman: Now what can you say about this actor?! He is a great actor, all accounts are that he is a great guy to talk to, very personable, a good husband and father, he is Australian, so he has a great accent... AND he can sing?!?! Now I'm not sure why he hasn't made the previous lists, but I am correcting this huge mistake right now, so please forgive me! The last movie I saw him in was Wolverine, which I thought was a great action movie. But I think I first realized how much I enjoyed his movie was "Someone Like You". A movie that he was in with Ashley Judd and Greg Kinnear. A great romantic comedy!


#4 Mark Paul Gosselaar: Zac.... Saved by the Bell. Really the reason I watched this show growing up every Saturday. I was excited to see him back on TV when he entered the cast of NYPD Blue. I thought that he breathed new life into the series, and was sad that he was cast only to have the final season follow so shortly. I am very glad that Raising the Bar is now on TNT and is one of the many TNT Drama's that I now have a season pass on my TIVO for. I look forward to it every week! If you missed him on Jimmy Fallon you HAVE to watch it! HILARIOUS! He definitely hasn't lost his touch!



#5 Matthew Perry: I first got a crush on Matthew Perry when he played Chandler Bing on friends. He was the comic relief in so many episodes with his clever quips. Then it only grew when him and Monica hooked up, because... I'm SO much like Monica (it's a little scary actually). I loved their romance and the chemistry that they had, and that he was the calm to her crazy but loved her with all her flaws, and actually more so because of them rather than in spite of them. I also thought he did a great job in 17 again, and I thought he was hilarious when he appeared on Jimmy Fallon to promote it!

Not Myself...

So lately I've been plugging through day by day. I feel like I'm in a rut. Today on facebook I put my status as "wonder's if I'm as forgettable as I feel sometimes".
Lately I can't explain it. My school seems to be going in the direction I want to, I've got the summer off and so I'm taking preparations to begin in the fall. I applied to the Westminster Nursing Program, and am waiting to see if I made it in. I assist three great guys at work that I really get along with, and I feel like I'm pretty on top of my tasks (at least most days). But... I feel like I'm not myself, and like I'm lacking... something. Which is SO specific I know, and therefore so easy to fix. I feel like my social life is missing. I still have some wonderful friends that I wouldn't trade for anything. And if you saw my schedule you would probably wonder where I would think to fit in more of a social life.
It's just missing.... Okay, maybe it's dating...
I may be missing dating, and I don't know how to approach it. At all. I've tried the online thing, and let me just put it in these terms... There IS a reason I have deleted all my profiles on these dating sites. I've tried the set up, and it never works out. I'm not sure if they just see my picture and decide that they don't even want to go out, or if they are just too busy, but I never hear anything from them. I go to my ward, but truly feel that if I'm not in the room the guys forget that I exist.
I hope this doesn't sound like a pity party. It's not meant to. I'm not sad, maybe a little blue. Contemplative may be a better word. I am not stuck in my ways, other than I am scared to death to ask a guy out. And YES the worst thing that they can say is No....
I just wish that I could flip to the last page in my life book and see "and they lived happily ever after". If I could see that... I think that I could make it through this in between stuff.

Focusing... Well Trying...

I'm not sure why, but I feel the need to blog. Judging from my last post not many read this anyways so I guess this is more of a journal and place for me to think things out.
Like I said I'm not really sure why I feel the need to blog, I guess because tonight I'm feeling the need to talk to someone. I don't know why, but I don't call people when I feel this way, I hope that someone calls me, and if that ever happens I never tell them I needed to talk to someone. I guess I just like pretending like I'm strong and have it all together when really I feel like a meshy blob inside. I don't feel like I have anything together. I don't know who I am, what my purpose is, other than I want to be a nurse. With everything I am I want to be a nurse. I'm finishing my application into a great program and should have it in next week. I don't hear until November. (So... fingers crossed...)
I'm feeling out of sorts lately, and there really isn't a reason that I can place my finger on why. I currently don't have roommates, other than my brother and his family, and I feel a little out of place, or old for my ward. I know this is partially if not all my doing. To make new friends it's a lot of work, and getting out of your shell. Right now I feel like I'm trying to push my circle peg into the square peg in front of me.
I guess one step in life at a time. Faith in every footstep. Faith in every day.

Two Years Old!

Okay, so I know I haven't been updated my blog lately. Its sadly been put to the side, and I will try to fix that. Life has been a little crazy right now. But I saw this on another blog and thought it would be fun.
My blog is now two years old. So, please leave a comment, just any comment, wishing my blog a happy birthday, or even just to say Hi. Even the blog stalkers that stop by occasionally. :)
And I promise, I will update this thing with a real post soon!
Thanks!