Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Frustration...

So I really try not to complain here all that much, maybe that's why I haven't had a post here for awhile... I'm pretty sure I suffer from summer depression. I love the fall and can't wait for the cooler weather and warmer clothes. I love wearing jeans and a sweater!
Today has just been one of those days. I woke up and it all went down hill from there. I cried at work for hours (which in a glass cubicle is just not so fun when you are a private person and like to hide any emotion that you possibly can). For lunch a couple of girls from work and I went to a quilt shop. It's amazing to me what even just looking at fabric and the endless possibilities that you can do with it! So I was a little happier, but it didn't last. Really it was just a bad day, and I don't want to go into specifics, it was just hard.
I also went on a date. It was fun, I had fun. It was a double date and the couple I went with is starting to be some of my favorite people in my ward. We played games and laughed. Then came the good bye... what is it about saying good bye that can relay so much information??? Like... it was nice to meet you, you would be a nice friend, it was fun... yeah... a dot dot dot. I remember why I only really go on a date every year or so. The guy was really nice, and like I said I had a great time. However, there is always analyzing of what I did wrong, and why I know I will never hear from him again. I'm not sure what I do, but it happens every time.
My greatest fear in life is failure. Not to die, not to be alone, but to fail. Leave this life accomplishing nothing and to mess up the things I long to do. This week, especially today, it feels like that is all I am doing.
Great way to start the new school year ahead! I guess its only up from here.

1 comment:

Gregg said...

I'm completely the opposite. I love summers. The long days and short nights. I really dislike winters (the holiday season). I have seasonal affective disorder (and it ticks me off that they have to call it SAD haha). The last big vacation trip I took was to Alaska near the summer solstice. There's just something about waking up at 2 am in the Denali park, poking your head out of a sleeping bag cover, looking up in your tent and having to squint because it's so darned bright outside.