Okay, when I started the process of going back to school and applying to the nursing program everyone said it was hard. I was worried, I'll admit it, but at the same time, I felt ready. But how is it that when others tell you something will be hard you never realize HOW hard until you are doing it yourself.
It just seems like every day blends together, work, school, school, work. 12 hour days and then homework and studying. Then I sit and I think, is this what I want? Is this really the work I want to do? Is this work really going to pay off in the end?
And then.... THEN...
I watch a show, a show like Grey's Anatomy, or Private Practice, or Mercy and then I remember. I remember why I started this. I remember that there is a passion inside that longs to be in a hospital with patients.
Tonight on Private Practice they showed the NICU, where I want to work. It always lifts me and can get me through the next round of tests, prep paperwork, or case studies.
Then on Mercy a couple weeks ago the nurse, Veronica, was going through a personal hardship and her dad sat down with her and told her that he understood that she was struggling, but that he knew that she would make it through it, because she always did. She was his girl. I cried instantly as the memory of my own Dad rushed at me. Him telling me that exact thing, that I was his girl, and that I would make it through. I'm not a person that is very open with my feelings, I don't tell my family how much they mean to me. My Dad is a strength to me that he will never fully be able to understand.
I will make it through school, I can make it through the long days of full time work and full time nursing school because I am stronger than I think I am. Faith in every footstep, strength in every day.
