Romantic & Hopeless

Holiday Surrounded by Family

2011-11-25T23:48:00.005-07:00

This Thanksgiving I was looking forward to being surrounded by immediate and extended family. It was SO good to see some of my cousins that I haven't seen in over 5 years. Get caught up and just chat with them. I was able to talk with my Grandma a bit, and say Hi to my Grandpa while he wondered by, he never stays in one area long. My brother made an incredible turkey and the food was delicious. Everyone brought a dish... except me... I'm pretty busy during the week and so my parents didn't want to add the pressure of bringing something. Overall I was thankful for this, wish I could have, but glad I didn't have the added responsibility. My brother, Dad, and I were delivering food from the kitchen while everyone was filtering through and eating. When everyone had their food, we grabbed our plates and dished up. I then realized being single I didn't have anyone that would have saved me a seat. I was worried for a second until my sister waved me over, she had saved me a seat next to her. I was SO grateful to her for this. It was a great day and I was so glad to be surrounded by family that is so supportive of everyone.
This semester has been a struggle for me. Learning about the community and the responsibility to your community you will have by being a nurse. As well as the job opportunities that are available in the community, such as Home Health, Hospice, Nursing Homes, situations like that. Then onto Psychiatric Nursing. This has been hard for me emotionally. The clinical isn't nearly has hard as I thought, the patients are great, and I actually am anxious to see how they are doing when I go to clinicals. The emotional part comes from seeing how people deal psychologically with issues they have in their life, and how that affects there lives. Yeah... lets just say I have a LOT to work on, and may now understand why I don't get asked out. Also why I isolate into my room when I'm trying to work on things, and eat a big plate of not good for you greasy food. I also hate asking for help... I think this is the big one. I'm a people pleaser, and define myself by how others view me.
I was really looking forward to having this holiday, but I've been quieter than normal, looking more inward at my actions, and what I bring to things. When really I should have just stepped back and enjoyed the holiday because it was amazing! I've tried to resist isolation, and have spent some time shopping with family and talking. Tomorrow we are going to the aquarium as a big family, it should be fun.
I'm slowly feeling beat down... Work is hard, and I feel like more is being asked of me and I'm trying. School is getting harder, clinical hours will triple for next semester, the hours will stay the same at work, and studying will have to be a priority as the NCLEX (boards) come closer. I don't know who to talk to really... Everyone says it will be fine, and I'm sure it will. I just feel a huge weight on my shoulder, and instead of lightening it, its just feeling steadily heavy, maybe heavier some days. Somedays I wish there was someone that would be home waiting for me, just to give me a hug and tell me I can do it. I think I'm finally ready to admit... I don't want to do this alone... but I will do it no matter what! Alone if needs be... but my want is to have someone by my side. It's just a wish... a Christmas wish.

Frustration...

2011-08-16T20:05:00.002-06:00

So I really try not to complain here all that much, maybe that's why I haven't had a post here for awhile... I'm pretty sure I suffer from summer depression. I love the fall and can't wait for the cooler weather and warmer clothes. I love wearing jeans and a sweater!
Today has just been one of those days. I woke up and it all went down hill from there. I cried at work for hours (which in a glass cubicle is just not so fun when you are a private person and like to hide any emotion that you possibly can). For lunch a couple of girls from work and I went to a quilt shop. It's amazing to me what even just looking at fabric and the endless possibilities that you can do with it! So I was a little happier, but it didn't last. Really it was just a bad day, and I don't want to go into specifics, it was just hard.
I also went on a date. It was fun, I had fun. It was a double date and the couple I went with is starting to be some of my favorite people in my ward. We played games and laughed. Then came the good bye... what is it about saying good bye that can relay so much information??? Like... it was nice to meet you, you would be a nice friend, it was fun... yeah... a dot dot dot. I remember why I only really go on a date every year or so. The guy was really nice, and like I said I had a great time. However, there is always analyzing of what I did wrong, and why I know I will never hear from him again. I'm not sure what I do, but it happens every time.
My greatest fear in life is failure. Not to die, not to be alone, but to fail. Leave this life accomplishing nothing and to mess up the things I long to do. This week, especially today, it feels like that is all I am doing.
Great way to start the new school year ahead! I guess its only up from here.

Writing Letters...

2011-03-29T21:39:00.002-06:00

So lately I've been seeing movies, or television that seem to talk a lot about writing letters, actual letters. Showing people writing letters or reading letters. Letters are an art form, a nearly lost art form. Which is sad. Typing emails, and status updates, and instant messages, even text messages, or emotionless. Even extremely moving emails that most girls keep, like they would letters, aren't nearly as personal. The typeface is general, the words are tapped, while a letter the words are carefully scratched across a paper with permanence that no sentiment can be backspaced easily.
So what is this post even about, or is it about anything really??? Well it is. I miss getting letters, writing letters, the effort it takes to take the paper and put the pen to it and mark it, (just like my poem). Even if you hit a blank, though must go into a letter. After its written its folded carefully, placed in an envelope and then put into a box. The letter slowly, yes it takes a few day, which to me is part of its charm, to reach the intended reader. A general piece of paper becoming something intimate between two friends, two lovers, two family members. Each one specifically for them. A piece of paper that you can read over and over again and see the authors hand writing and scrolls on each paper, each meant just for them.
In old times without internet, cell phones, or instant message with picture it would take weeks to get letters from family members. I was not alive through this time, but my grandparents were, and I know that when they had passed, there were letters after letters that were old and worn that were saved because it showed the sentiment growing between them. What can we say today? Print out the typed pages of emails to pass down? Who is to say that it's written by me? Is this my hand writing? I love to look back at my great-grandmothers notes, even just to herself, letters between loved ones that I have been able to come across.
So to quickly sum up this "short" post... which I have now made long... I feel this generation is missing out on the personalities that came with letters, the effort it took to write a letter, and... well I am missing letters. The beauty of a hand written letter will never, in my mind, be replaced by a typed letter.

Wonderings

2011-03-10T20:42:00.002-07:00

This last weekend I was on spring break and wanted to just take it easy at home before I started my Pediatric Nursing course. I've heard it's intense, and I figure I won't get much alone time. Anyways, my dear friend Felicity has told me over and over to watch North & South and I was looking through Netflix on my apple tv and realized that it was streaming free, so I started to watch it.
I had been slow to watch this because I always thought it was about the American North & South, and wanted to be in the right frame of mind for the issues that come along with that time of history. However, I was mistaken, it was England's North & South (see I would have known this had I paid attention to the fact that it IS a BBC production...).
I was enthralled from the first episode, even if it's a predictable show, as all these shows are. But it is something about this time frame that just engrosses me. The art of a relationship that is more than physical, as it was improper to kiss until engagement. Something that is grown from things that are not just surface deep. Couples walked around the grounds and spoke to each other. While in my life sometimes I realize that I try to appease the people that I talk with, the thing I find most intriguing is that I admire the main women character in these shows because they speak from their heart and hold to their desires. If it is not something they want, even if those around them think it is best, they hold true to themselves, and seek for what truly makes them happy.
The music, the scenery, the clothing, all make this movie near the top of my list of favorites. It's hard to put in words how these movies encourage me to be a strong independent woman. I know this sounds contradictory to the fact that the women don't end up alone, but what they don't need the relationship to be happy.
It's been a long time since I've been in a relationship, gosh, even been on a date. But, recently I've realized how exciting life is, how much there is to take in and how full my life can be, no matter my relationship status.

Life Currently...

2011-02-01T18:30:00.002-07:00

So here I sit, studying on my make shift "desk", which happens to be my bed with pillows set up all around me, one for my textbook, one for my laptop, and then my lap is free for my note taking and underlining. I'm not going to complain about studying, because for once I am absolutely loving my class. This is surprising because I thought this would be the one that I would just want to hurry through to move on to what was next. When I found out that the clinical (time in the hospital shadowing a nurse, and helping with patient care) included the NICU I was ecstatic! For some reason, since high school, I have felt drawn to work in the NICU, it's actually what pushed me back into school (a whole post all it's own... someday I will write), but had yet to even be in the NICU. I knew it would be hard, and that there are some serious sick babies in there, and many may not survive. However, I felt like I was where I needed to be. It was an amazing day and I can't wait for more.
So, school is going well, and I have friends that I talk to, which makes me like it even more, I feel part of the group, and the feelings and frustrations about school that I do have, are usually shared with many people in my class. It's comforting in a way.
My personal life on the other hand... I guess could use some work. Well... to be honest, I don't have a life outside of work and school. I know it's hard to push one more thing in my life, but I find it lacking when I get home from a long day at the hospital with all these experiences and I came home to an empty room and pull out my textbook and start to study. I'm not complaining, which I know it sounds like I am... I don't know how I would fit dating in right now, and really I don't know anyone that's interested enough to even think about asking, so I've pretty much moved past the longing, depressing, why not me, phase. But to be honest, who doesn't want someone important to talk to, share things with, and move through life's ups and downs with. It hasn't stopped being a desire... in any way... I've just stopped focusing on what I don't have.
Work is going well, I just got an award for 10 years of service, I have been there for 12. That job has gotten me through a lot, and it's a little bitter sweet leaving in just over a year. They know I am leaving and have encouraged me in my school work.
That's about all with me, work and school... but how lucky am I to be able to go to nursing school, have a job that can make that possible, and family and friends that can encourage me when times are hard.

Resolutions 2011

2010-12-30T23:22:00.002-07:00

So I was reading through last years blog. I knew that I had written a few resolutions down. I said that I wasn't one for resolutions but lately in my life I have realized that I'm a goal oriented person. I feel that this year I would do better if I wrote down the things I truly wanted, and will work hard to accomplish.
I wrote 4 things I wanted to do/work on: Being more approachable, more organized, more social during school time, and last but not least... date.
While I am happy to say I have worked on all of these, sadly I think I only really accomplished 2. I have been more approachable to those I go to school with, and more importantly the patients I have worked with during my time in the hospitals for school. I have also gone on at least 2 dates this year (I know... not many, but more than usual for me!).
So, for this year's list I will add again to be more organized. This is truly something I am going to put more effort into. School things organized makes me less stressed, and the room and car more organized helps me focus and relax to spend more time on the things I really need to focus on.
I have also come to realize that while I miss socializing during school, I talk to my really important friends. I don't get to see them much, but we do talk. They are my life support during the rush of school work and stress. I need to talk with them, so I will keep that up, but I now realize that I need to focus on school, and my true friends understand (although I think we are all ready to spend more time together during summer break!).
This year I am going to add to my list! I want to really budget my money, and not just grudgingly because of my "starving student" status. I really want to plan out my money, pay my bills ahead of time, as well as maybe save a little. I'm tired of my budget and money being a burden that I try to avoid rather than keep under control.
I want to work on test stress. I finally got my cumulative GPA above 3.5, which working full time, and nursing school full time, makes me pretty happy. However, the tests get me everytime. I am getting better, but would like to focus my stress a little more, so I want to look into meditation and things like that.
The big one this year I want to tackle is my weight. While I don't particularly look overweight... I am, technically by the books, overweight. This alone wouldn't make me unhappy, but I don't like looking at my closet full of clothes and knowing that I can only fit in 1/4 of them (and this is being VERY generous). I hate having to buy bigger and bigger sizes everytime I look for clothes. I finally bought myself a scale so I can see some progress when I work out and cut out some calories.
I would also like to feel more confident in my nursing abilities. My clinical instructor last semester had great faith in me and what I did during those times in the hospital with the patients. I enjoyed (nearly) every minute of my clinicals and it helped cement the information from the textbooks, but I would like to trust my instincts and feel more confident. I know that this comes with time, and they say you don't really get the hang of nursing until about 2 years into the job, this means OUT of school. So I won't rush myself... just something I would like to work on. So it goes on the list!
Hope everyone is having a wonderful time during the many holidays celebrated. I'm very excited to see what 2011 holds!

What I Miss...

2010-10-26T09:16:00.003-06:00

So I haven't been able to do much lately but work and school. I think it's starting to be noticeable. Nursing school is definitely aging me. LOL. I miss hanging out with my friends, my family, going to the movies, reading books that I enjoy, and lately I've really been missing sewing. I went to a Fall Frenzy quilt shop hop, which started it. They have so many cute patterns and fabrics out right now and I just don't have the time. With this in mind I was able to restrain myself and just looked... oh wait... I bought 3 yards of assorted fabrics! My stash is just growing and growing! (At least I won't be at a loss of what to do this summer on my break!)Also it's fall... which is my favorite fabric and patterns so they are everywhere in the store. I'm starting to really like pumpkin patterns and fabrics with pumpkins on them. Very cute!

Anyways, I'm starting to ramble... I was able to sew this purse for my friend Felicity. I hope she liked it. We picked out the fabric together. Also I tried a new magnetic button. I sewed the strong magnet directly into the purse and fabric, its not as easy as you would think. You do after all have a metal foot on your machine that tends to hold the magnet tight (it was actually pretty funny how it would pull the fabric you were sewing into the side of the foot). Anyways, hope everyone is enjoying this wonderful season! It's my favorite!!!

Another 100 Things...

2010-10-08T20:04:00.002-06:00

Last night I was looking at my old posts and came across this one. I read through it and while its all true, it's been awhile and things change... So I thought I would update my list. :)
1. I'm currently a junior in nursing school.
2. I'm also working as a legal assistant full time.
3. Because of #1 &2, I don't have much free time, and therefore I don't really have a life.
4. Realizes now that this list may be hard because of #3.
5. I am addicted to the Sweet Tooth Fairy's Red Velvet cupcake... it's divine!
6. I love medical shows (even more now that I know what they are talking about!)
7. My dream car is an Audi R8 Spyder.
8. I love the fashion of the '50's.
9. I miss going to the movies, and will definitely be cramming a lot of those in during the holiday break.
10. 12 hour clinicals for school are long, and hard... but honestly I love them!
11. I would really like to lose 40 lbs.
12. I LOVE to see Blue October in concert! (Happy my brother decided to take me when he won tickets the day before their last one)
13. Wish I could go on vacation to Boston or Seattle... actually both.
14. One day I will go to Disneyland during my favorite holiday... Halloween!!
15. I love to do peoples Halloween makeup.
16. I miss reading books for fun.
17. I want to make a pie this Thanksgiving... a first!
18. I am still a sucker for a man on a motorcycle.
19. I'm afraid of failure.
20. I'm gaining more confidence.
21. I have a fantasy of being kissed in the rain (as does almost every girl).
22. I took a knitting class this summer with my friend Julia, I've bought a lot of yarn... and haven't knit anything else!
23. After a relapse of mono this summer, I have become addicted to NCIS (marathon on USA... for two days).
24. I still sing in my car... loudly!
25. I don't like chocolate.
26. I'm addicted to In & Out's fries! (It doesn't help that In&Out and Sweet Tooth Fairy share a parking lot!!!)
27. I have a bouquet of velvet roses from my great grandfathers funeral.
28. My dream house will have a ginormous bathtub!
29. Although I'm going into nursing, I still enjoy interior design.
30. I love buying quilting fabric, it just makes me smile!
31. I hate going to the grocery store.
32. I've realized I'm an emotional/stress eater... nursing school does not help this!
33. Would love to own a cabin someday.
34. I'm a sucker for a nice TV, and DVD player.
35. I have insomnia issues, and have to take ambien sometimes.
36. I want to see Wicked again.
37. I love showtunes!
38. I make a fool of myself quite a lot.
39. I don't like the taste of water... but still trying.
40. I love watching movies over and over to get a new perspective on it.
41. I don't like confrontation.
42. I am afraid of rejection.
43. I love the holidays with my family.
44. I enjoy dancing, but know I can't do it well, that's why I dance only when I'm alone.
45. Always wanted to act in a musical... and then I realized I can't really sing that well.
46. I don't like getting attention, it makes me blush.
47. I don't like talking about politics with people, I have views, but choose not to discuss them.
48. I have a large collection of bath towels... and its just me.
49. I buy myself tulips and roses occasionally.
50. I love foods made with pumpkin!
51. I miss hanging out with my friends, and studying instead.
52. I have a hard time letting go of clothes that are too small... I keep saying I'll fit in them again.
53. I love to make soup!
54. I can't wait for fall!!! The leaves, the food, the cool crisp air, the clothes!
55. I enjoy going to the movies alone.
56. I don't like getting pedicures at a salon, so I do them myself.
57. I realize now that while I'm shy... when I get to know someone, I talk too much.
58. I window shop online because I don't have time to go to the stores.
59. I still can't take a compliment well.
60. I still have test anxiety, but its getting better.
61. I want to learn tai chi.
62. I have a large collection of cooking and quilting magazines.
63. I've realized lately most of my sentences begin with: Someday...
64. I'm a recovering procrastinator.
65. Every car I drive I seem to ruin something in the engine that baffles my Dad.
66. I love to eat out for breakfast!
67. I have some shoes that are just too painful to wear, but I can't get rid of them, because they are SO cute!
68. There are only two things I sew. Quilts, and bags.
69. I would love to go to a heavy weight boxing match.
70. I think I'm creative... until I'm with my sister!
71. I can listen to the same song over and over.
72. I LOVE movie theatre popcorn.
73. I love walking in the rain.
74. I love reading a book on a blanket in the park.
75. I still love the Disney classic movies.
76. I enjoy going out to eat with friends and family.
77. I'm a daddy's girl.
78. I'm also very close to my mom.
79. Lately I feel like I'm losing my mind and can't remember anything.
80. I enjoy cooking, but only in my own kitchen.
81. I make some great oatmeal chocolate chip cookies!
82. I hate having my picture taken.
83. Wish I could go camping more.
84. I like fly fishing, but would like to spend more time and get better.
85. I never sing in the shower, I don't like hearing my own voice.
86. Often when my dad and I go on a movie date, we go to two movies, one right after another. (He likes movies as much as I do).
87. One of my new favorite foods is fried pickles!
88. I love wearing high heels to work, but take them off almost as soon as I sit at my desk.
89. I love going on road trips, with people I like that is...
90. I don't like mint.
91. I like to make people smile!
92. I enjoy hosting parties.
93. My favorite movie is Pride & Prejudice.
94. Physical humor (people falling, or running into something) is my favorite!
95. I bruise very easily.
96. Probably one of my favorite dishes is steak or chicken salad.
97. Will one day go to the Shakespearean Festival.
98. I enjoy putting puzzles together on New Years Eve.
99. I can't wait to be a nurse!
100. This took WAY longer than it should have!!!

Hope that wasn't too boring to read... You should try it! It's harder than you would think. :)

Footprints...

2010-07-13T20:54:00.002-06:00

So, I know I don't update this much, and I'm not really sure how many people read this. But, I was heading out of my class tonight and caught a glimpse of someone in a car that looked like a dear friend of mine. Someone I haven't been able to see or talk to for about a year. I keep seeing him places.
It made me think of a quote that I saw on a plaque once, "People come and go in your life, but true friends leave footprints behind."
I started to think of all the friends that have come into my life over the last few years. I have so many people that have left footprints in my heart and in my life. So many people that have influenced me and help give me strength throughout the days. I'm sure they don't even know how much they help me.
I have been threw some hardships in my life, but with the family and friends I have, I have a hard time complaining about them. I have a wonderful family and siblings that love me, and can joke around with me, and build me up to be a stronger person. They are family that in the hardest of times I can lean on. They are my rock, my foundation. I love them dearly.
I have some amazing friends. I would dare say some of the best on the planet! Felicity is like a sister. We have been friends for over half of my life now and I love that I can call her stressed out about school, and she is going through the same thing, if not harder. She is amazingly smart and a wonderful friend.
Julia was a roommate that turned into a very close friend. She is the Rachel in our little "Friends" group and I love her for it! She is someone that has seen me at my worst, from crying to yelling, to something in between. I still have a hard time getting ready for a date and not sending her a picture asking if I look alright. She started me on my obsession with purses (to go along with the shoe one I already had). I miss the late night runs to Sonic.
Kellee makes me laugh! She is our Phoebe, and yes there is someone actually like her! She says some of the most random things, and is carefree, and loves everything, especially animals. She is a friend that can take any and all of my venting, from work to school, to the crazy driver on the freeway in front of me. She can laugh at my being neurotic and is a hopeless romantic, firm in the idea that my Prince Charming is out there. She won't let me give up.
I have so many friends that I could go on and on about, I truly am blessed, but I don't want to bore anyone reading this so I will stop. But I will finish with the friend that started me thinking about this.
He was a friend that would just sit with me and watch tv while I studied, not needing to talk, not needing anything from me. Just sitting with me. Every now and then messing with the camera on my Mac (I still have a picture he took of himself that I can't erase). I remember a conversation we had just before he got married, it was almost a good bye conversation and I cried at losing him, but understood. I spoke with him periodically through out the years until he was deported. He called me to tell me that he was okay, and that he had made it to his country. The last time I spoke with him was right after the tsunami hit Samoa, where he is, and I was so glad to hear that he was okay. His wife is visiting as much as she can, and she really brings him so much join. I am so happy he has her in his life. For some reason I have seen him multiple times over the last few days and it worries me a bit. My heart goes out to him and his wife and I pray that both are safe.
I miss my friend dearly!!!

A Needed Push

2010-05-16T22:30:00.003-06:00

I have thought and wanted to update my blog all day, but unsure how to approach it. I feel like a lot of my entries are about being single, and complaining, which I don't want to do. I'm actually very grateful for where I am in my life right now. I can't imagine working full time, going to nursing school full time and trying to fit in time for dating.
With that being said, one of my best friends, Felicity, and I, went to two movies this weekend. Letters to Juliet and Robin Hood. Both were great. I cried in Letters to Juliet, but felt this overwhelming feeling of hope, and inspiration. In these types of movies, yes, I'm talking chick flicks, the main characters show so much passion. I watch these characters, these women, (as well as men) follow their hearts and their passions, in extraordinary ways.
I know that I am following my heart and my passion, but the hard thing for me to remember is that this dream isn't going to happen overnight. As well as the fact that it isn't the easiest thing to accomplish. I've struggled through my classes, but in doing so, I'm learning about the strength that I have, and even if I'm not doing as well as I want, I'm still doing great.
Robin Hood was a different tale than I have seen of Robin Hood, and I wasn't sure how I felt about Cate Blanchett being Maid Marian, however, her class and stature brought something different to this character than I had felt before. Not only was she independent, and feisty (which is one of the reasons I LOVE Maid Marian) but she brings silent strength and a willingness to do the right thing.
Overall this weekend I have felt a push for inner strength and renewal of passion in my life.

Finished Project!

2010-05-13T12:10:00.003-06:00

Well, I remembered to take a picture! Well, okay, really I just took it with my phone to send to my friends to show them, but figured I would post it here as well.
I finished this purse for myself, and I LOVE it!
I finished it while watching Underworld that I have saved on my Tivo. I've decided for some reason I love to sew while watching/listening to action movies. Now just to finish my knitted scarf, my sisters purse, my sister-in-law's purse, and my nephews blanket.
I am loving this summer thing. I wish I could fit in just a few more movies!

Hello Blog... I've missed you!

2010-05-09T20:19:00.002-06:00

Wow! That semester was... well... HARD!
I worked full time while going to school full time and no one really explains to you that not only is nursing text books hard to memorize and the tests are confusing and there are like 3 out of 4 right answers but you have to pick the MOST right, the paperwork is crazy! I had no idea I would have to do papers every two weeks that would take approx. 6-8 hours and have a night to do it. Anyways... I survived, and I pulled out a 3.2 for the semester! Now... only 2 more years!
But hey, it's summer! Time to celebrate!
So what have I done to celebrate?? Sew!!!! Oh, and fabric shopping! I've sewn two purses, so far and bought way more fabric than I should have. Oh, and I also signed up and took one knitting class with my friend Juls. I know, I sound like an eighty year old grandma and I'm only 31! However, I heard that knitting is very relaxing and I need to find something to do during the crazy semesters to keep my mind somewhat sane, so I'm going to be trying a lot of things this summer. Knitting, meditation, tai chi, and get back into yoga.
I forgot to take pictures of the purses I've sewn since school has been out prior to giving them to the people I sewed them for, but I will try to remember to post the summer projects that I finish.
Also I'm trying to spend time with my family and friends. I really feel like I've lost touch with a lot of people during this last semester. On the first day of classes we had an 8 hour nursing program orientation and one of my professor said that nursing school was like entering a convent... How true that feels! I know it will be worth it, and I will keep pushing through the next semesters, but for right now, I'm enjoying summer break!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!!!

2010-02-18T22:37:00.002-07:00

Okay, when I started the process of going back to school and applying to the nursing program everyone said it was hard. I was worried, I'll admit it, but at the same time, I felt ready. But how is it that when others tell you something will be hard you never realize HOW hard until you are doing it yourself.
It just seems like every day blends together, work, school, school, work. 12 hour days and then homework and studying. Then I sit and I think, is this what I want? Is this really the work I want to do? Is this work really going to pay off in the end?
And then.... THEN...
I watch a show, a show like Grey's Anatomy, or Private Practice, or Mercy and then I remember. I remember why I started this. I remember that there is a passion inside that longs to be in a hospital with patients.
Tonight on Private Practice they showed the NICU, where I want to work. It always lifts me and can get me through the next round of tests, prep paperwork, or case studies.
Then on Mercy a couple weeks ago the nurse, Veronica, was going through a personal hardship and her dad sat down with her and told her that he understood that she was struggling, but that he knew that she would make it through it, because she always did. She was his girl. I cried instantly as the memory of my own Dad rushed at me. Him telling me that exact thing, that I was his girl, and that I would make it through. I'm not a person that is very open with my feelings, I don't tell my family how much they mean to me. My Dad is a strength to me that he will never fully be able to understand.
I will make it through school, I can make it through the long days of full time work and full time nursing school because I am stronger than I think I am. Faith in every footstep, strength in every day.

Sick...

2010-01-30T22:09:00.002-07:00

So here I sit in my room thinking of all the things I should be doing, and all I can do is sit on my bed and wipe my nose. I hate being sick! Especially on the weekends, and when I know that when Monday comes it will be non stop going to work and school.
The days seem so long lately. I usually have 12 hour days with full time work and school. I know it will pay off and I'm trying not to complain, but really, it will be nice when it's over.
I've been thinking a lot lately about different things, random things. I've watched a few chick flicks lately and near the end I always think why do we watch these movies? You know the end, they are predictable, but they still give me that giddy happy smiley feelings. I know the couple is perfect for each other and that they will end up together, and it makes me happy. However, I know that this is far removed from reality, but aren't movies there for an escape of reality? Well for me they are. Sometimes the fairy tale is a great escape from the reality that crashes into me each and every morning.
Anyways, this post seems more of a rant while I sit at home sick rather than a purposeful post. So I will end it and study and sleep... at some point sleep will come.

Hello 2010

2010-01-01T22:49:00.003-07:00

So I have been looking at blogs the last few days and I can't help to notice that everyone is excited and happy to say goodbye to 2009. While I'm excited to move on with my life and start the new chapter of nursing school, I didn't hate 2009.
I had some hard moments and had to face a lot of personal issues I didn't know I had, but overall it was an alright year. I made some major growth that only I can truly be aware of, but it makes me happy. It was hard to face things I didn't like about myself, and harder to change some things, but it's been worth it.
I digress... While I didn't hate 2009 I'm very excited for 2010. School starts next week and while I will be pulling 12 hour days every day with full time work and full time school I know it will pay off.
I looked back at the post I made this time last year and I said I had no resolutions and no high hopes in change. I've never been one for resolutions but this year I find myself making mental notes of goals I want to make for the year ahead.
I want to be more approachable. I'm kind of a shy person and I've come to realize that it comes across not as me being shy, but me being overly confident or rude. I'm going to work on that.
I want to work on my organization. While I am organized, it only appears that way to me. I want to be able to have others see that I'm organized and run my life orderly, and not just haphazardly and crazy.
I want to make time for a social life. I didn't really do this that well last semester and I fear that this semester will just be worse. However, I want to try to make time for that. Everyone needs a social life.
Date. One word... but so hard for me to do. Like I said I've been pretty busy so I don't have a lot of time. But I miss dating, having fun, talking to someone and finding out about them. First dates aren't the best, I refer to them as the "job interview date", but it's been awhile and I would like to get at least one in this year.
So there you go. My first shot at resolutions... Bring it on 2010!!!

Wishing

2009-12-10T08:15:00.002-07:00

So here I sit at work hoping that the nauseated feeling I have goes away because I am just too busy to get sick! I have finals coming up and then straight into the busy holiday week. Oh! I forgot about the homework I have been assigned over the break as well. So needless to say I don't need to get sick right now.
On to the reason of this post. I'm sitting at my desk and trying to distract myself for a few moments then back to work. So how to I distract myself? I go to a few of my favorite websites! (of course) So I went to my favorite one www.modabakeshop.com and now all I want to do is go home and sew a quilt. I've also recently been getting a bug to learn how to knit. Someday after school I will take a class.
I wish I could just take a weekend and sew and get caught up with some projects that have been put on hold. There is nothing like sticking in a movie and sewing to relax you and bring you back to center.
Hopefully in the mess of all the holidays I will get a day or two to do just this!

Long Time... I know!

2009-12-08T11:22:00.002-07:00

Okay, so I keep meaning to update here, but I always think... no one reads this. But here I sit in the cafeteria of school looking out at the snow covering the construction going on. I miss the campus how it was. I know it will be better, but I just wish it was done.
Anyways... Update on me. I was suppose to get a letter in the mail the day before Thanksgiving to tell me if I was accepted into the nursing program I had applied to. Well the night before, I had a dream that it got lost in the mail and I had to go in and ask if I was accepted on the following Monday. Day after day I sat at the window trying to concentrate on the homework that I had watching the mailbox. I get the mail in between 4-6 PM! And to no avail the letter did in fact get lost in the mail (still haven't received it) and I had to go ask on Monday if I was accepted... And I WAS!
I got into the nursing program in the school I wanted, my #1 choice!! I was so excited to hear.
So now just to pass the current classes and keep trying to work full time, and nursing school full time. The schedule isn't the best, and I will pretty much have no social life... but it's only 2 and a half years! Then... I get to work in my dream job! I really am so excited.
I have actually been so blessed with all my friends and the things going on in my life. I'm also writing a fictional short story that seems to be getting some pretty good reviews which has been a lot of fun. I have also been able to hang out with my friends, granted not nearly as much as I would like, but it's something.
Finals are the end of this week into next week so I will be buried in my textbooks until then, but then... the Holidays! I love Christmas, and even though I spend New Year's Eve alone (by choice) I love it! I sit down watch an action movie (nothing to do with romance) and work on a puzzle. I still have the one I worked on last year which I'm so excited to hopefully finish. Some much needed alone relaxation time.
It's been a good few months!

Funny!

2009-08-02T22:03:00.003-06:00

Okay, so when something funny happens I automatically think, "I'm going to blog about this!" But inevitably it comes and goes, and the post just doesn't happen. However... Friday night I went to the movies and realized I HAD to post about the experience.
So my sister text me and said that they were going to the $1 movie to see Wolverine: X-men Origins and was wondering if I wanted to join them. I didn't hesitate and said I would go!
So I left work a little early and headed straight to the theatre. They had previously bought my ticket and I entered and realized that other than a couple in the back the theatre was completely empty. Which is so nice by the way.
So the movie starts and its probably 30 or so minutes into the movie, and I hear this older woman yell "I can't see a darn thing!" "Can you see anything?!" Then I turn my head and they are right at our row. They proceed to move down the seats, passing ALL the empty seats making their way to us. They then start touching my brother-in-law saying "OH is someone there?" My brother-in-law informs them that there is, and they move down, doing the same thing to my sister, then down to me. She then tries to sit on me still, until I say "Yes, I'm here, the seat isn't empty" She responds surprised "OH dear! I'm so sorry" She then decides that she doesn't want to sit on that row, and slowly makes her way down the rest of the row (that was in fact empty) all the while talking to her friend down the aisle saying that she doesn't know where to sit, and asking where she wanted to go. They finally made there way to the row in front of us on the end that they first started on.
I couldn't stop laughing! Especially when they were finally seated my brother-in-law leaned over to my sister and said "Hey its you and your sister in 60 years"
Oh, and then after watching for about 45 minutes they decided they didn't like Wolverine and got up loudly and walked out. Seriously funny!!!

Current Top 5...

2009-07-29T23:01:00.007-06:00

Alright, so if you haven't been reading my blog for very long I have a Top 5 list of guys, usually actors, that I currently have a crush on. It's been awhile since I updated this list on my blog, it is after all a very fluid list.
So, let's get started!
#1 Michael Vartan: I have liked this guy since Alias. I was so excited to see him return to a tv series, let alone a series about a nurse! Of course I was going to watch it. On last nights episode of HawthoRNe he reminded me why he should be on this list when he spoke French. Talk about going weak in the knees! *swoon* So far it's a great show and I hope it will be on for a long time!

#2 Robert Pattinson: Being a Twilight fan, and excited for the second installment this guy had to make the list! If you've talked to me at all you know that I am an Edward fan through and through! I think with Taylor playing Jacob its a great casting job, and I don't hate Jacob anymore, but I will always LOVE Edward, and think that Rob does a great job of portraying him. I also think that Rob actually has a personality and I enjoy reading his interviews. Also if you haven't listened to the commentary of Twilight, you should give it a listen, very funny!

#3 Hugh Jackman: Now what can you say about this actor?! He is a great actor, all accounts are that he is a great guy to talk to, very personable, a good husband and father, he is Australian, so he has a great accent... AND he can sing?!?! Now I'm not sure why he hasn't made the previous lists, but I am correcting this huge mistake right now, so please forgive me! The last movie I saw him in was Wolverine, which I thought was a great action movie. But I think I first realized how much I enjoyed his movie was "Someone Like You". A movie that he was in with Ashley Judd and Greg Kinnear. A great romantic comedy!

#4 Mark Paul Gosselaar: Zac.... Saved by the Bell. Really the reason I watched this show growing up every Saturday. I was excited to see him back on TV when he entered the cast of NYPD Blue. I thought that he breathed new life into the series, and was sad that he was cast only to have the final season follow so shortly. I am very glad that Raising the Bar is now on TNT and is one of the many TNT Drama's that I now have a season pass on my TIVO for. I look forward to it every week! If you missed him on Jimmy Fallon you HAVE to watch it! HILARIOUS! He definitely hasn't lost his touch!

#5 Matthew Perry: I first got a crush on Matthew Perry when he played Chandler Bing on friends. He was the comic relief in so many episodes with his clever quips. Then it only grew when him and Monica hooked up, because... I'm SO much like Monica (it's a little scary actually). I loved their romance and the chemistry that they had, and that he was the calm to her crazy but loved her with all her flaws, and actually more so because of them rather than in spite of them. I also thought he did a great job in 17 again, and I thought he was hilarious when he appeared on Jimmy Fallon to promote it!

Not Myself...

2009-07-27T22:43:00.002-06:00

So lately I've been plugging through day by day. I feel like I'm in a rut. Today on facebook I put my status as "wonder's if I'm as forgettable as I feel sometimes".
Lately I can't explain it. My school seems to be going in the direction I want to, I've got the summer off and so I'm taking preparations to begin in the fall. I applied to the Westminster Nursing Program, and am waiting to see if I made it in. I assist three great guys at work that I really get along with, and I feel like I'm pretty on top of my tasks (at least most days). But... I feel like I'm not myself, and like I'm lacking... something. Which is SO specific I know, and therefore so easy to fix. I feel like my social life is missing. I still have some wonderful friends that I wouldn't trade for anything. And if you saw my schedule you would probably wonder where I would think to fit in more of a social life.
It's just missing.... Okay, maybe it's dating...
I may be missing dating, and I don't know how to approach it. At all. I've tried the online thing, and let me just put it in these terms... There IS a reason I have deleted all my profiles on these dating sites. I've tried the set up, and it never works out. I'm not sure if they just see my picture and decide that they don't even want to go out, or if they are just too busy, but I never hear anything from them. I go to my ward, but truly feel that if I'm not in the room the guys forget that I exist.
I hope this doesn't sound like a pity party. It's not meant to. I'm not sad, maybe a little blue. Contemplative may be a better word. I am not stuck in my ways, other than I am scared to death to ask a guy out. And YES the worst thing that they can say is No....
I just wish that I could flip to the last page in my life book and see "and they lived happily ever after". If I could see that... I think that I could make it through this in between stuff.

Focusing... Well Trying...

2009-07-09T21:02:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure why, but I feel the need to blog. Judging from my last post not many read this anyways so I guess this is more of a journal and place for me to think things out.
Like I said I'm not really sure why I feel the need to blog, I guess because tonight I'm feeling the need to talk to someone. I don't know why, but I don't call people when I feel this way, I hope that someone calls me, and if that ever happens I never tell them I needed to talk to someone. I guess I just like pretending like I'm strong and have it all together when really I feel like a meshy blob inside. I don't feel like I have anything together. I don't know who I am, what my purpose is, other than I want to be a nurse. With everything I am I want to be a nurse. I'm finishing my application into a great program and should have it in next week. I don't hear until November. (So... fingers crossed...)
I'm feeling out of sorts lately, and there really isn't a reason that I can place my finger on why. I currently don't have roommates, other than my brother and his family, and I feel a little out of place, or old for my ward. I know this is partially if not all my doing. To make new friends it's a lot of work, and getting out of your shell. Right now I feel like I'm trying to push my circle peg into the square peg in front of me.
I guess one step in life at a time. Faith in every footstep. Faith in every day.

Two Years Old!

2009-07-07T22:11:00.002-06:00

Okay, so I know I haven't been updated my blog lately. Its sadly been put to the side, and I will try to fix that. Life has been a little crazy right now. But I saw this on another blog and thought it would be fun.
My blog is now two years old. So, please leave a comment, just any comment, wishing my blog a happy birthday, or even just to say Hi. Even the blog stalkers that stop by occasionally. :)
And I promise, I will update this thing with a real post soon!
Thanks!

Trip to Boise

2009-06-07T22:26:00.003-06:00

Okay, so I've been thinking about this post since the trip, its just taken me awhile to put it down, so... here goes.
My nephew was graduating so my parents and I decided to take a road trip to see the miraculous event (if Kevin reads this, he knows I'm kidding) and as much as I persisted to take my car (VW Passat) my mom insisted on taking theirs (Ford Expedition) that had just had new brakes put on and was still creaking a bit... So they picked me up at about 9am, after I had run some errands and got some snack food. I'm not a big morning person. I can get up and moving, but usually remain quiet until I am fully awake, if I take a shower, then its right after that, if I take a shower at night, that time increases in the morning.
So as we started out I put on my headphones and tuned into my iPod. We stopped in Farmington for gas and more road trip snack foods and then were on our way. About two hours (halfway) I needed to stop at the restroom and my dad decided Rupert would be a good idea. As we exited the tires made the WORST noise I had ever heard. It sounded like the axle was dropping off the tire and hitting the frame of the car. My mom started to freak out and grab the handle on the door and she started asking my dad what it was. As he was not under the car, he was not sure, but knew it was something with the brakes. We turned into the gas station and went to the bathroom. I love my parents dearly, but with stuff like this, I know my dad will figure it out and would just as soon tune out the discussion of how between the two of them... sometimes. So when I got back I put my iPod back on and waited to hear what we would be doing. Turns out that a bolt that held the brake on had shimmied out and no longer was holding the brake on. Rupert was only 5 miles off the exit so we decided to head that direction and hope to find a car parts place. As we headed toward the street my dad put the foot on the brake and it was a horrid sound. Before I know it he is turning the car around and driving backwards. At first I thought he was just going to try it out in the parking lot... OH NO! He drove as if the back of the car was the front down the main street of Rupert ID. (The brake was held in place if we stopped in reverse) He said he would go slow, but 45 mph backwards doesn't feel very slow. We came up behind a tractor/harvester and he pulled around it quite quickly. I was getting nauseous, my mom kept yelling that he wasn't going slow enough, I thought that we were going to die. My dad finally got sick because he was driving backwards so he turned around and decided to try the emergency brake. Well the emergency brake was just shaved down so it was not great at stopping... But we made it alive to a little car parts place called Schow's and this shop was AMAZING! They helped my dad find a bolt that would hold on the break until we could go to the wrecking yard and get the right one. They also did not charge us for the bolt they gave us. We made it to the wrecking yard, got the right bolt on and were on our way to Boise, ID.
I told my dad that although I thought we would die, it would be a great story that I'm sure we will talk about for years to come!

New Moon Trailer!

2009-06-01T10:14:00.002-06:00

If you haven't seen it yet, I would suggest you take a few minutes and watch!!!
On the introduction during the MTV Movie Awards Taylor Lautner stated "Get your Tivo's ready because you are going to want to watch this more than once!" And he was right, and I'm glad I had mine already set! Hope you enjoy!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T12:57:00.003-06:00

Can I just say how much I love my TIVO?!?! Seriously the best invention ever made. Here I sit on a Monday waiting for my laundry to finish, cleaning my room and bathroom and watching the edited version of Underworld: Evolution. For some reason I am more productive at whatever I'm doing with a good action flick on. I clean more, do more laundry, as well as even sew faster (which I should be finishing the last purse for my friend Julia).
Today is Memorial Day and I met my family at the cemetery to place flowers on my Grandparents grave. I look forward to this day all year. I get to set aside to remember my Grandparents that I love and miss so much! Whenever I remember my Grandpa my heart aches to see him once again. He was truly a wonderful man that I have never heard an ill word spoken about. He was loving and generous and genuine. I would be happy if I was 1/4 of what he was.
I visited with my Uncle and his wife and daughter, with her new baby (so cute!!) I get to see them often, as they are theatre people like I am, and are always up for a play. Its so fun to see things with them, and I am hoping to get the chance again shortly.
I love days like today that are just laid back and I can do what I need to so I can feel sane again and ready for the week ahead. I also love and need my alone time, which I am able to get on these days. I'm so excited for my family BBQ tonight, nothing like gathering together as a family around an open flame roasting hot dogs and laughing together!
I guess I should get back to the laundry and cleaning that I still have. I hope everyone is having a good Memorial Day.

Pardon My Venting

2009-05-20T11:36:00.002-06:00

I'm not really one to vent on my blog, however, I do this often in real life and it usually makes me feel a little better.
I'm feeling a lot of things today and am overall feeling... well... like I need to vent. So here goes....
I'm a people pleaser, I know this, and I've tried to keep it under control. However when I find myself lumped into a blog and am invited to no longer read it, I'm hurt. I feel like I have done something wrong, when this isn't the case, and it bothers me that someone, maybe even someone that I don't even know doesn't like me. I hate it when people don't like me, especially when they haven't even given me a chance. Its not very nice, and I don't appreciate it.
I keep trying to get myself to go to the gym, and once I'm there and running on the treadmill with P!nk blaring in my ears from my iPod I enjoy it. I'm one that loves my "me time" and I like how I feel. So why is it that I have such a hard time going??? I wake up late, stay up late, and have plans at night. I need to get my sorry butt out of bed and go so I don't hate the way I look when I see myself in the mirror.
I also want to do something with my hair, its bugging me! I swear I look the same no matter what I do with it, cut wise. I try to change the cut, and three days later looks like the same exact thing! UGH! I hate it!
One of my best friends at work just gave her notice, and I'm so sad about it, but so happy for her! She gets to stay home with her kids. I will miss her dearly!!! We talk fabric and patterns and go to lunch, when I can.
I think a good action flick, running and a girls night out may be in order!

Update as Promised!

2009-05-19T22:33:00.002-06:00

Okay, so where to start. I know its been a long time, but I am thankful to say that my grades paid off for all the studying that went into this semester. One more down... a few more to go. :)
I love my school and am so grateful to be able to attend and meet the people and have professors that care if you understand what they are teaching you. Many times I've had a professor stop a lecture and say I look confused. (which I guess I do a lot... maybe I should work on that. LOL)
Anyways, so far its been a great summer. I purchased a Lagoon season passport with my brother and his family. I've been to three midnight showings of movies, and going to another one tomorrow night. (I will try to write some reviews if anyone is interested)
Things in my personal life... well... hmmm... that seems to never change. I keep myself busy and bury myself in my hobbies and interests to keep my mind of the things that I am not doing. Still no dating, and its actually gotten to the point where I don't feel sad about it. Its been so long that I just can't see it happening, and strangely enough, it doesn't make me sad.
I'm doing so much to be the woman that I want to be that the being dependent on someone else and how that person feels about me is becoming less and less important to how I define myself and my social status. People still ask me why I'm not married, or why I'm not dating, and really I have no answer, other than to shrug my shoulders. I'm pursuing my life long goal and getting closer and closer as the months progress, and I just get excited. I'm trying to be a better friend to those around me. I'm trying to work on being happy as much as possible. I'm trying to be a better aunt, sister, sister-in-law, and daughter.
I'm content with where I am, but not content to stay as I am. I am looking forward to the things that are sure to come my way that will stretch the way that I see myself, and the capabilities that I feel I am lacking.

Update Coming...

2009-05-18T16:15:00.002-06:00

I'm sorry for anyone that might actually read this... but I promise to update shortly!

Spring Break Vacation

2009-03-10T23:11:00.000-06:00

30th Birthday Pics

2009-03-10T22:53:00.000-06:00

Carried Away

2009-03-10T22:26:00.001-06:00

Wet hands,
Reaching out,
Blue eyes look
Fingernails,
Cutting through the sand,
Wet hands,
Blue eyes,
Fingernails,
White Sand,
Crushed,
Sea shells

Thirty Years & 100 Posts

2009-03-10T22:20:00.003-06:00

Okay, so I have been so bad at posting lately. I'm not sure how many people actually read my blog, but I felt like I should update it a bit. I have been thirty for near two months... and so far, its GREAT! I am truly happy with how things are going so far. I do realize that I might have just jinxed the whole thing, but I just wanted to say, its been wonderful.
I have pictures, and should post them at some point. My birthday was great. I spent the morning with Felicity and then all my friends went to dinner and a movie. I have some of the greatest friends! They make me laugh!
Classes are busy, but going well as far as I know. I have a test tomorrow and definitely should be studying but there is only so much organic chemistry you can look at before it all starts looking the same!
My love life... still the same, single. Not much more to add to that at this point. My hopes are that that will change at some point, but until then this blog will still be the rantings of a single girl in want.
I also spent spring break with my brother and his family in Idaho. I was lucky enough to go fly fishing with him on the Owyhee River and caught a nice Brown.
I promise if anyone really reads this blog I will try to keep it updated more often.

New Year... Independent!

2009-01-01T21:18:00.002-07:00

So its a new year... I'm not one to write down resolutions, because honestly I rarely keep them, so why set myself up for failure? Right? So anyways, I brought in the new year with my own tradition. I took a long hot bath, made myself a cheap dinner (two hot dogs, not grilled but still good) worked on a Wicked puzzle that was a Christmas gift while watching/listening to Iron Man & The Dark Knight. When midnight rolled around I opened a bottle of sparkling cider, smiled and told myself here is to a new year, a good year. Then proceeded to drink nearly the entire bottle! What can I say, I like the stuff.
So this year, the year I turn 20-10, I still don't have resolutions, but I do have something that for a new year, is new to me. A positive outlook, that with no high hopes. Other than getting into the nursing program later this year I really hold no hope for huge change. While this may sound sad to some, for me I feel its healthy and actually makes me smile. I finally feel okay to be on my own. Don't get me wrong, I'm a romantic at heart (thus the name of this blog) but I don't feel dependent on the fact of a relationship. I don't feel that my status as a person depends on the status in my love life. I know my friends are planning a party for my thirtieth birthday and I'm just so happy that I have girlfriends that care enough to get together on my birthday and goof around with me!!!

Big Red Sign

2008-12-11T21:42:00.003-07:00

So no matter how much time and effort I put in to making sure I look cute, and my hair is done right and I try to act like I'm confident and all of that. Whenever a guy that I think is attractive looks at me or says ONE word to me my face turns to fire and I can feel the flesh color turn slowly to pink to bright red and then I can't make eye contact because then he will KNOW that I think he is attractive, but its not like my face isn't like a huge flashing RED sign that says "Yeah, thats right, your attractive and if you asked me out, I would probably jump at the chance!!!".
Seriously sometimes its just so embarrassing!

Worth Another Shot!

2008-11-21T21:33:00.004-07:00

Okay so I went to the midnight showing of Twilight (of course!!!) I first went to dinner with my niece (Curry Chicken, which I will be skipping from now on!) and then we headed to "Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Forum" VERY FUNNY play. It was a little hard to concentrate because of the excitement and my niece leaning over periodically saying "TWILIGHT!" but it was still very funny!
Then on to the movie! WAHOO! The wait was over! I couldn't believe it. I was so excited. The lights dimmed and I clapped and cheered along with those around me. It started well, I could already see differences from the book to the movie, which I totally expected. The Cullen's entered the screen by couple, and then... Edward entered... He did NOT disappoint! The hair was great, the face was great everything! And then... The smile! WOW!
Okay, on to the actual movie. There were parts that I was thinking Really??? Did they just say that line? With those around me giggling at the lines it made it even cheesier. However overall I thought it was good and wanted to see it again before making a final decision.
My friend Felicity also wanted to see it again so we went. YES I have already seen the movie twice. And... let me just say... it was WAY better the second time. I could relax from what the differences were. There wasn't a surprise how a character was going to act, and I could laugh a little more at the little things that I didn't notice last night. Emmett made me laugh, and Edward made me swoon. The Cullen's were intimidating when they should have been and loving and welcoming when they should have been. The hatred between Edward and the Blacks were portrayed well. I would have liked to have seen the deep connection between Edward & Bella a little more, but could not see how they could do that and not add more time to the film.
I think Rob Pattinson did a great job! The eyes, the hair, the piano playing... all great!
Hope everyone wasn't too disappointed the first time to give it another shot. It was definitely better the second time around!

Tired of This Insomnia!!!

2008-11-20T01:24:00.002-07:00

Okay, seriously it is 1:30 in the morning! I am wide awake and it might as well be 1:30 in the afternoon! I have tried everything the past few weeks. Reading, turning the lights out, not drinking caffeine after 7pm, and even a bed time routine (I'm very much a routine person, so I have had a bed time routine for as long as I can remember). I even tried warm drinks which helped for awhile, but haven't recently. If for some reason I am able to get to bed before 1am for some unknown reason I wake up at 5:15am! Every time. If I'm awake and its dark before I look at the clock I know it is about 5am. It is very aggravating!!
The only thing that use to work that I haven't tried recently is working out at night, not too late, just about like 6pm. I have been busy with school projects and final papers due. If you have any suggestions let me know! Seriously its getting kind of ridiculous! (Although the insomnia works for my advantage during midnight showings!!! Like the one tomorrow night!!!!)

Tagged by Kelly

2008-11-15T21:27:00.002-07:00

So I'm late, but here it is. I don't do tags very often, but then again I don't get tagged very often. A lot of tags are about family and I currently am, should I say... Happily Single :) Thanks Kelly, sorry its a little late.
Anyways, here goes.
So here are the rules:
* Link the person who tagged you.
* Mention rules on your blog.
* Tell about 6 quirks of yours.
* Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same.
* Leave a comment to let them know
Quirks:
1. I watch movies... over and over and over again. It doesn't matter how often I have seen the movie, I will still laugh out loud, and cry (certain movies I don't cry after multiple times). I love movies, they make me happy and let me escape from life, if for only two hours.
2. I prefer fountain soda over a can. I will do with a can, and have done so more recently with the cut to part time and school costs, but there is nothing like a fresh 32 oz of Diet Dr. Pepper or Diet Dr. Coke with fresh lime. (Crushed ice is even better).
3. I look at peoples shoes first. There are many things you can tell by a persons shoes. Even during a movie when many other things are going on I will lean to the person next to me and whisper that I love the main characters shoes. I LOVE shoes.
4. I love Black Friday shopping... and I don't buy anything! I go to be with my family, and believe me it is worth the crowds and early mornings. We laugh until I think I may throw up! Its just me and my siblings, Mom and her sister. Its nice to joke with them and spend time with them. We have some great stories!!!
5. I don't like chocolate. Well let me phrase that differently... I am picky about my chocolate. I love european chocolate. It has much less wax in it. I like some dark chocolate, but Cadburry's chocolate is amazing! Mainly I just say that I don't like chocolate, because there is a rare occasion that I crave any kind of chocolate.
6. I sing in my car.... LOUDLY. Even act out musicals, when I'm alone. I don't sing in the shower, I don't sing in my room, only in my car. I dance also. This is usually fine because I don't notice others, until I am at a stop light or driving through campus, slowly. You would think that I would have learned, but I like it, and I can't seem to help myself.
Six bloggers that I am tagging: Kellee, Julia, Lindsay, Ashley, Katie, and Janessa.

Twilight Excitement!!!!

2008-11-07T19:56:00.002-07:00

I am SO excited for the Twilight movie!!!
Here is a link to some movie clips as well as the new TV Spot.
Also here is the website that I look at frequently its got some great pics in the galleries!
Hope everyone is getting excited!

My New Retail Therapy

2008-11-06T16:53:00.003-07:00

On my way home from class today and decided to stop and get the last bit of fabric that I needed to make a purse from a pattern that my mom bought for me. I've been saving the cash in my wallet for a few days and just haven't made it out there.
After perusing the store for a few minutes and taking in the smell of the new fabric and listening to the classical music play overhead the stress of the day melted away and I kept thinking of all the projects that I could sew with the fabric that I was surrounded by. There are some really cute lines out right now. I believe its Moda that put out the new Christmas line called "Let it Snow". Its dark and has half melted snow men, it really is the cutest Christmas line I have seen in a long time. I keep looking at it and wishing that I could purchase enough to make a cute Christmas quilt for myself.
Anywho... I have sidetracked. After making my purchase the cashier asked for my punch card. I pulled it out from my pocket designated specifically for all the quilt shop punch cards that I have. These are my favorite quilt shops and would love to do my own little "shop hop" one Saturday and purchase something cute that I would inevitably find at each one.

So here they are:
Material Girls -
Located in South Jordan, UT. This is the shop I went to today. They have a diverse collection of patterns from aprons to quilts to stuffed dolls.
Pine Needles-
Located at Gardner Village in West Jordan, UT. This is one of my favorites. They have some really cute embroidery patterns and every year I purchase a new Witch quilt pattern on Witches Night Out. Its a small set up, and I always have to ask for the patterns because I can never find where they are, but it really is a cute store.
Quilt Etc.-
Located in Sandy, UT. This was the first quilt shop that I was introduced to. I do enjoy going, there are two different stores that is Quilts. One has the juvenile prints and then another store that has the holiday prints and then the lower level that has the fabric sorted by color. This is helpful when you are looking for specific colors for quilt patterns. Their pattern books are sorted by publisher and it makes it kind of difficult to locate a specific one. However they have set apart the Buggy Barn books finally. (These being my favorite quilts to make lately).
Thimbles & Threads-
Located in Sandy, UT. This is a very cute store that I am sad to say I don't go to a lot. I have bought a couple of patterns and some really cute Mary Englebreit fabric that I have yet to make the quilt.
Broadbents-
Located in Lehi, UT. This is one of the cutest shops I have been into for awhile. Its has fabric, Madam Alexander dolls, figurines, and even furniture. Its an old country store. I have bought a lot of stuff here and love to just walk around. This weekend they have their annual Christmas Open House. They have hot apple cider and cookies for you to snack on while you shop. I'm really looking forward to it, even if I can't buy anything this year.
The Quilting Cottage-
Located in American Fork, UT. This is a small house that was converted into a quilt shop. Its mainly on one floor. Each room is kind of a different theme. Juvenile prints, flannel prints, wool, and then the different holidays. The only thing I have really bought here is quilt kits. They have some really cute pre-cut kits in project bags that are great to keep for future projects.

Well these are my favorite shops that are within reasonable driving distance from my house. I have decided that quilt shops are the best retail therapy. Behind each bolt of fabric there are endless possibilities, each person seeing something different.

I Need Ideas!!

2008-10-26T23:14:00.002-06:00

I am taking a public presentation (Speech) class and have to give an persuasive speech. I have to have my topic by Tuesday and I have NO idea what to do it on. Debate topics were given such as health care and alternative fuel options, but if if you have ANY ideas PLEASE let me know!!! I'm truly at a loss here.

Twilight Midnight Showing

2008-10-22T22:39:00.003-06:00

So I got a wonderful text message from Felicity tonight informing me that the Twilight Midnight movie tickets were on sale. I had been keeping my eye on the website, but had not yet today. I am so glad she told me because by the time I checked 7 of the 11 theaters were already sold out!!! They just went on sale today. I bought my tickets and a couple of friends. I couldn't get a hold of everyone, nor could I really fund paying for everyones ticket.
If you haven't bought them yet I would soon! THANK YOU FELICITY!!!! I am SO excited for this movie! (Plus its been awhile since my last midnight showing, I am excited for that as well!)

The Weekend

2008-10-19T21:00:00.003-06:00

So this weekend was actually pretty good. I had a lot of homework to do during fall break. I think they figure since you are missing a class they need to give you enough homework to make up for the time away. Anyways, Friday night my brother and friend Felicity wanted to go to a movie. Not a big deal but they both wanted to see different shows, and I wanted to see both... so BONUS two shows in one night. I talked my brother into going to an earlier show of Max Payne, then went to Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. I had an hour in between the movies and ended up playing a short card game with my sister in law and her mom and sister that were spending the night at the house.
It was seriously a great night! I love going to the movies, and two movies are just more fun. Max Payne was well done, the colors were muted, dark and gloomy city streets. The only colors were gray black and white, except flashes of red during one of the beginning fight scenes, which added to the violence, and hot ash falling, as well as red eyes. It was made after the video game, so the plot line is according to that. I over all thought it was a good movie, but it was definitely not a feel good movie, and I was glad that I had the lighter movie to end the night.
Nick & Norah was hilarious! I loved it. There were some parts when I though they went a little too far, and could have skipped or made it faster, the toilet scene comes to mind... but I laughed loudly and it wasn't a deep plot. The actors that they have playing the parts did a great job and it was exactly what I needed to relax.
Nothing else really happened. I did most of my homework and just have a few essay to finish off for Tuesday classes, but feel like I can get it done. The break was nice, I know 4 years isn't a long time, I just wish I was closer to the finish line than the start. I guess just one day at a time, and my cheap vacations to the movie theatre will get me through it.
If you have seen any good movies, new or old, let me know! I can't wait until 11/21/08!!!!

The Duchess & Being Courteous

2008-10-13T17:18:00.004-06:00

So Felicity and I took a break and went to dinner and a movie. We are both on a budget for college, so Spaghetti Mama's was a perfect choice! We decided to go see The Duchess starring Keira Knightly.
This is the story of the Duchess of Devonshire, Georgiana. Nicknamed in the movie by close friends as simply G. First let me say this is based on a true story. It is not a happy story and can be kind of upsetting at times because of the traditions of how things were. As a whole it was well done. The dresses and fashion was amazing. She states to her husband that that is how women express themselves is through their dress and fashion. She does her own designs and sometimes her hair is very extravagant. I think Keira did a wonderful job at showing the emotions that the Duchess would have felt and done being raised as a "lady". In public she was all smiles and mingled with grace, in private she was quiet and secluded herself. I don't know if I would recommend people to watch this unless they know what is to come. I enjoyed it, but would probably not watch it several times.
What this movie did make me think is... At what point does being courteous become being a push over? At what point do you say enough is enough? Does obligation always outweigh one's own feelings and desires? I am so glad I did not live in these times, and I am not in any horrible situations (thank goodness!) but I do have to admit it is still hard for me to stand firm in my own desires when I know others do not agree. I usually stay quiet and do not voice my opinion strongly because I don't want any type of confrontation. I feel that sometimes this may be the wiser choice, after seeing this movie, I have decided that although it may be polite, sometimes your voice needs to be heard anyways.

Wishlist

2008-10-08T22:59:00.003-06:00

So I know my family doesn't read my blog, actually my 16 year old niece might while she is sitting board in class instead of doing homework... but maybe thats why I'm doing it here. I don't usually like to spell out what I want exactly for gifts. I know some of my friends read this, but please don't take any hints. You should know I wouldn't do that. This is more a reference for me, of what I would buy myself if I could. Maybe this is my way of window shopping. :)
So this is some of the things I would get myself for Christmas (or the holiday that follows Christmas shortly that I am not talking about this year... :P)

I like taking pictures, but not set pictures, just candid or landscape pictures. I've never had a great camera and would actually like the bigger Nikon, but for me, the small would be ideal

I have always loved the scent of Banana Republic Classic perfume! I haven't worn it in a long time.

Either of these shoes, I saw the short ones in the store and fell in love! But couldn't talk myself into spending $95 for shoes at this point. Plus my mom and sister looking at me disapprovingly because they weren't on sale didn't help. So I put them back. (what else are bonuses for??? but shoes!)

Wicked is coming to Utah! In April, I'm so excited and would LOVE to go. (okay that might be an understatement)

I love music and have a mac and an iPod, so iTunes gift cards are always a good thing!

I LOVE movies, and I usually get popcorn and soda while enjoying the movie. So this would get used... quickly.

And this being a wish list, season tickets next year to Hale Centre would be great! They have some good shows coming up next year.

So there you go... A list of purchases that I would buy at this point if I had the money. :) Its nice to dream every now and again.

Quotes Recently Found

2008-09-27T23:22:00.002-06:00

At Body World 3, which is focused on the heart, there were quotes hanging on the walls throughout the exhibit. I wrote a few of these down and thought I would put them on my blog:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-Antoine d Saint Exupery
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-Blaise Pascal
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
-The 14th Dalia Lama
We were not sent into this world to do anything into which we cannot put our hearts.
-John Ruskin
All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is exclusively my own.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A Great Day

2008-09-27T23:02:00.006-06:00

So I was able to spend another fun day with my sister. We did not go to Lagoon, but we did get to see Body Worlds 3. I will talk about that in a minute, but first, I want to talk about what I was able to come home and listen to and watch. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints General Relief Society Meeting. Every time I feel like something is lacking in my life, I receive a gentle, or stern, reminder of what is truly important in life. I remember then how blessed I am in this life, and although I feel like I am not doing enough and have so far to go, I am not the only one who feels this, and it is not hopeless. I just need to work harder. I encourage every woman to listen to these wonderful people speak, it is truly amazing.
Earlier in the day however, I was able to pick up my sister and we headed downtown to walk through Body Worlds 3. I was very excited to go and look at this exhibit. Obviously as a college student hoping to get into a great nursing program shortly the body interests me. The way that it works, and the intricate design of everything. Its parts are so small but fit together like an amazing puzzle that just fits and works down to the smallest blood vessels. I was a little worried about my sister. I have taken classes that have cadavers and did not get ill (the smell is a little nauseating, but nothing that some good smelling lotioned hands wont fix) but she has not. I was very surprised and excited that she was so interested at each piece. We stopped and spoke of the muscles that were shown, the bones, and the intricate nerves or veins/arteries. She asked me questions and it was like an anatomy review. I was excited again about nursing. The desire to learn more about anatomy and to be in the medical field renewed. I felt like I knew things, no matter how little, it was encouraging and amazing.
I will be attending this exhibit at least once more before it ends in January. I would encourage everyone that is able to go and take a look. It took us about 2 hours to walk through the entire thing, and totally worth it. However, next time I go I will not be choosing Saturday to attend. The human body is truly a work of art!!!

Ever After

2008-09-26T00:01:00.002-06:00

So I was trying to unwind after a stressful day at school. I think I did alright on my Latin test, and I'm pretty sure I pulled off the demonstrative speech. I went out to Burger King with Kellee and her girls and then met Chuck for shopping! We outfitted him with about three-four outfits. I also splurged and bought a baseball hat from American Eagle. When I put it on Madison would laugh and then I started dancing to the music and that just made her laugh more! I really had a good time.
I came home, and one of my favorite chick flicks came on cable. Ever After!! There are many reasons that this is a favorite. It takes a fairy tale that is commonly told and put into a real life type of story. I like this version of the fairy tale because it develops the love story and relationship between the prince and the servant that is called Cinderella (Danielle). She dresses up as a courtier to save a mans life that was sold to pay the taxes of her step mother. As the story continues you see truly how this girl is strong and independent. The prince rushes in to save the damsel in distress to find that she has saved herself. He apologizes for betraying her when she truly needed him and while she is covered in dirt and in a dirty dress he kneels before her with her glass slipper and asks her to be his wife.
I was watching this a couple of years ago with my niece and she laughed at this part and said "Aunt Jaci, you are the ONLY person I know that would love be proposed to with a pair of shoes rather than a ring. It made me laugh, and then I thought about it more and more. I have always loved Cinderella and I DO love a good pair of shoes. She was right, I would love to be proposed to with shoes. Don't get me wrong I still want a ring, LOL, however the shoes would definitely be something that would be unique and truly something that I would love.
I have sidetracked, as usual. This movie is one that I have watched multiple times and I think I like it more each time I watch it!
I have a few favorite lines throughout this movie "A bird my love a fish senior but where would they live? I guess I will have to make you wings" and then the last one spoken "The point, gentlemen, is that they lived."
I was lucky enough to find my favorite scene on youtube!

I'm Addison!

2008-09-25T16:22:00.002-06:00

I was kind of surprised to see how accurate this is, and thought that I would post it. Plus the show premieres next week and I'm so excited!! I'm sad that it didn't give the description that it did at the end of the quiz. Oh well... It was funny for me to see at least.

The Utah Rite Of Passage

2008-09-24T17:56:00.004-06:00

I went with my older sister to Lagoon Fun Park a couple of weeks ago. I had a blast! I have previously blogged about this and how funny my sister is on the rides. However, the reason for this post is what I saw while standing in lines waiting for the rides. I saw people of all ages coupled up and cuddling, kissing, and even some of the teenagers were full on making out. It made me remember as a teenager on 9th grade Lagoon Day standing in lines with my friends doing pretty much the exact same thing (I don't recall full on making out in the lines). So I started to think... Is this the Utah rite of passage?? Is it something that everyone wants to do while waiting in line for a roller coaster?
I know girls my age that have never cuddled or kissed while in line with a guy that they were with still want to. I'm not begrudging anyone a cuddle or a kiss. I wasn't even annoyed this last time. I will admit that there was a newlywed couple that was in front us while waiting to ride "The Spider" and it wasn't the cuddling or the giggly or staring at each other and the occasionally kissing that went on in the 45 minutes that we waited that annoyed me, but the corny banter between the two of them. However, this would be a totally different blog entry, so I will stop now...
So from my day at Lagoon I took away a great fun day with my sister and the knowledge that PDA while standing in line for a ride at Lagoon IS in fact a Utah rite of passage!!!

Laugh Break

2008-09-24T17:47:00.002-06:00

So I attend Wesminster, and while going to class for six hours at a time it become inevitable that I would use the restrooms on a regular basis. I smile everytime I go into one of the stalls. They post every month two things in EVERY stall. Career News in the Loo, and Dear John (the social calendar for the month). They are bright colored and have pictures of stick figures of people reading while on the loo! Seriously it makes me laugh!

Who I Am

2008-09-18T22:08:00.002-06:00

So I'm sitting here regrouping from my day at school today. I had one of those days where I realized that although I THOUGHT that I was getting it and understanding it all... I am FAR from ready for the two tests and speech that I have next week. So I came home, walked in the kitchen said Hello to my sister-in-law and my niece and nephew and put my bags down and stood there. I didn't think, I couldn't move, I didn't say really anything. I was maxed out. My brain had shut off. So I went and rented two movies at Redbox to calm down and realize that if I study hard this weekend, I will do alright.
So this brings me to my story, I was sitting at my desk in my chair watching these two movies, smiling and laughing, like I do during movies and I realized something. First off I was watching chick flicks, which totally have a place especially on a day like today. Yes they are easy to predict, thus the relaxing while I watch them, and there is usually kissing and couples. Thats when it hit me. Everyone says that you find someone when you give up, or when you stop looking. How do I stop looking or give up on something that I want?? I think I have blogged about this, but its just on my mind, so please be patient with me. I can't stop thinking about it. I know that I'm a little OCD with a lot of things so my mind usually comes back to the same things over and over, sometimes its for my benefit, sometimes its not. Tonight I didn't even want to be kissing someone, I just wanted to be talking and laughing with a guy over the phone that cared about me. Simple enough...? Apparently not.
However, on a brighter note... I also realized tonight that in the hardest time of my life, I went through it like a zombie... Drifting with a smile on my face for the ones that cared how I was doing. I broke down on the phone to my Mom (she is always the one that gets to hear my breakdowns, she is great for that) I told her I was tired of pretending to be happy, I was tired of pretending of being okay. I wasn't okay and I didn't want to act like I was. She told me that I shouldn't have to. Tonight I realized I am not pretending anymore. I am happy. I am okay! I am happy with who I am!

My Hair

2008-09-14T14:23:00.010-06:00

Okay, so the picture of me and my sister in Lagoon doesn't really show my new hair cut, so I figured I would put a couple pictures that I took this morning after I got ready.

Lagoon Day Fun

2008-09-13T22:53:00.005-06:00

Today was Westminster College's Lagoon Day. Ticket were cheap and came with a lunch, so I decided to purchase two and take my sister with me. Well I started out the day getting my hair cut. Then I picked up my sister at her house and we went out to breakfast, then to Target so she could get a backpack to carry around some essentials in, and we were finally off to the park.
We went straight to Wicked, when I found out that my sister, instead of screaming on rides... laughs!!! She kind of does this fake half chuckle and then when people usually scream out right, like say on the way down the hill on Wicked, she giggles! It was so funny to listen to. After we picked up some lunch we were heading to Rattle Snake Rapids to cool off, as we were both in long jeans and it was warmer than we had thought. On our way we saw the old fashioned picture area, we stopped and looked at the prices and thought, we could split the price and we could be Saloon Girls!!! So, we splurged and did it. It didn't turn out great, but it was sure fun to get done!!! Anyways I ended up having a great time with my sister and was so glad that we were able to go. The best laughing rides for her were Wicked & The Samurai!

Amazing!

2008-09-10T23:47:00.005-06:00

So my office building just moved, which is so great, a 4 minute commute is way better than a 30 minute one! Anyways, I'm side tracking and rambling.
I was on my way home and had to run to Target for a few things. I turned the corner and was overwhelmed with an amazing site. Hundreds of flags lining the Sandy City Hall lawn. A big sign marked The Healing Fields was at the front. Right then it hit me, its September 10th, tomorrow is September 11th.
I think nearly everyone in America remembers where they were that fateful day. I was staying at my parents for a short time and had just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready for work. I turned on the news to check the weather and saw live the second plane hit the second tower. Never did it cross my mind what was really occurring. I merely thought that it was an interview they were doing about an upcoming movie. So not having time to watch movie information I turned off the tv and continued getting ready. About 5 minutes later my mom received a call from the neighbor. My mom is a travel agent and they wanted her to know that a plane just flew into the Twin Towers. Well the news continued for days, weeks, and still today.
Hundreds of people lost their lives. As I turned the corner and saw a flag for every person that was lost that day I was overwhelmed by patriotism. Tears brimming on my eyes I drove past row after row after row watching children walking through hand in hand with their parents. It was such an amazing site.
Please let us all remember this day the ones that were lost. God Bless America!!

My Mirage in the Desert

2008-09-09T23:32:00.002-06:00

Some nights when I sit at my desk I stop suddenly and run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath. The feeling usually comes out of no where, or is triggered by a movie or a song that I'm listening to. As I run my hands through my hair, with eyes closed I think of him. The unknown man. My mirage. Is he thinking of me? Wondering where I am? What I am doing? As I wonder about him? Sometimes I wonder why I can't get my act together enough so that I can meet him. Is it me? or is it him? or both? I tend to think that its my fault. I seem to be a little slow to learn lessons that should come quickly.
I don't feel a hinder to this space between my mirage and I. Nor do I resent the distance between us. I wish that I could walk a little faster and not complain so much about my thirst for the waters that lay ahead just out of sight.
It is late as usual, it seems like I am less and less tired. I long for sleep less. That may be one of the reasons the mirage seems brighter tonight that usual. It feels within reach tonight, and almost tangible.

An Impasse

2008-09-06T19:20:00.003-06:00

So I have reached an impasse with this paper that I am writing for my English class!!! Its not a hard paper, and for a college paper it is fairly short, only 4 pages, however I have writers block! I have written 2 and a half pages written and it just seems like the last page and a half is just out of reach. I'm watching Legally Blonde on TV and although its a very funny cheesy movie, it almost makes me think that if I just try hard enough I can do what I want. Just keep plugging away! (YES I do realize I am saying this I am NOT plugging away on my school paper, I am blogging!) Also lately it makes me think of my good friend Felicity going to her first year of law school! GO FELICITY!!! She really is amazing and law school is no match for her!
Well I just had to write or type something that was not related to this paper. First thing that came to mind was the movie that I was watching. I just want to say sometimes mindless chick flicks that you have seen a million times is totally the answer to a stressed out weekend!!!

Natures Music

2008-08-31T20:11:00.002-06:00

Its raining here. The rain is not depressing for me. The dark cloud cover, the smell of the coming storm, is something rather that I look forward to. The rhythm of the rain is amazing. If you have never taken the time, while a storm is outside to turn off the TV or the radio and rest your head against a window to watch the drops fall and splash against the cement outside and listen to the music that follows... you are truly missing something wonderful!
This evening I was cooking some college budget friendly ramen noodles and watching the rain drops fall against the green back drop of the wet lawn in the backyard. I longed to stand out in the rain with bare feet and let the rain fall on my face.
It made me long to live somewhere where it rains often. I know that I will always see Utah as my home. It is where my parents will always be. Where the mountains provide protection, as well as direction no matter where in the valley you are. However, I have always wanted to move out, at least for awhile. I would love to live on a coast. I have always said back east, the east coast is something that I love, the little that I have been there. However, lately, the thought of rain, more often than not, makes me wonder if the west coast would be more fitting for me.
Anyways, I hope that if the rain came near you today that you were able to hear the music that ran across the valley for all to hear!

Really?? That Many?!?

2008-08-19T11:09:00.003-06:00

Okay, so when do you know that you have too many shoes??? Well I knew I had a lot, and I love shoes. I'm kind of proud of how many cute pairs of shoes I have. However, when I made a couple of purchases at Payless' great sale known as BOGO and two of the pairs were green that I had quite a few pairs of green shoes. So I decided to count them... I have... EIGHT pairs of green shoes! Really?!?! I had no idea that I had that many. I even tried to buy another pair the other day but the store didn't have my size. I think I might have a slight obsession problem with Green Shoes! :)

I DID IT!!!! I'm a CNA!!

2008-08-15T21:03:00.005-06:00

For the last month and a half I have been going to class during the week and clinicals on Saturdays. However, today I received my certificate of completion as a CNA!!!!! I was so scared to do it, and some days were very hard, but it was worth it! I'm so happy that I did it! Thanks for all the support when I was freaking out! Now just three more years until the RN thing is done. :)

Family Survivor Pictures Finally...

2008-08-15T19:16:00.008-06:00

It took me awhile to get the pictures from my Mom. Unfortunately we didn't have a lot taken, because you know, we were competing... So we started out the evening by having dinner together, and then... on to the challenges.
We had an Idol that was hidden, the one to find it could automatically come in first place in any challenge that he/she chose. Of course my brother Scott found the idol and it only took him approximately 2 minutes (there is a reason that we don't want him to participate in the Easter egg hunt). I ended up tied for second place with my sister-in-law Katie. Scott won by ONE point, dang idol!!! :D It was a blast and I wish I had more pictures to share. But here they are...

Scott with the hidden Idol

Me competing in one of the challenges

The family all together with the score board (that you can't really read).

Twilight Character Quiz

2008-08-14T23:36:00.001-06:00

New Movie Quote

2008-08-11T21:51:00.003-06:00

So for those of you that know me well know that I LOVE movie quotes, actually quotes of any kind. I started really looking for quotes when I was going through a hard time in my life. I put a board up with all my favorite inspirational quotes. So, later I will post some of those. However, for now I will just post a new one that I heard in the movie Chaos Theory
"The most important thing about Love is that we choose to give it and we choose to receive it. Making it the least random act in the entire universe, it transcends blood, it transcends betrayal."

A Perk of Single Life

2008-08-10T20:31:00.002-06:00

Well, sometimes I have to remind my self that in my life I have some great benefits of this single life that I seem to be stuck in for the moment. It seems that when I feel the lowest that I am reminded of things that I may not be able to do if I was married, or had kids.
My brother called on Wednesday from Boise, ID and asked when I was going to be coming down before school starts in the fall. I pulled out my planner and explained that I didn't know if I would be able to, and if I did I would be coming alone and it would have to be this weekend. He said that was fine. I told him I would have to look at what I could do and then call him back.
I started to look at the gas prices and the fact that my car needed new tires prior to a long road trip. Plus, although I do like spending time with myself, 5 hours on the road is a long time. I was concerned about staying focused on the road and driving my car. I then started to look at flights on the internet when I was unable to reach my Mom right away (having a mom for a travel agent has its benefits). They looked reasonable, and when I got a hold of my Mom we booked a flight for the following day.
I left Thursday night after work and arrived at approx. 10:30pm in Boise. I was greeted at the airport by my brother, we chatted on the way home about a new kitchen appliance he had purchased, and when I got to his house I was able to sample home-made brownie batter ice-cream!!! WOW! Very rich, but very good!!! (Lactase enzyme pills were double right before my first bite).
The next day I was able to sleep in, and then went to my nieces elementary school for lunch. We planned on going to "Into the Woods" at the Idaho Shakespearean Festival, but it was sold out three days in advance, so we ended up eating brick oven pizza in a beautiful park in the canyon.
Saturday we went to their neighbors and picked fruits and veggies from their garden while they were out of town. Then we were off to Twin Falls, ID for the LDS Temple Open House. It was BEAUTIFUL!!! The art work that was displayed, the murals that were done on the walls, even the carpet was just beautiful. The woodwork was amazing. I left with a feeling of peace and awe. After the Temple we went to a dinner party of some of my brother and sister-in-laws friends. I didn't have a lot to talk about when it came to raising children and the joys of grandchildren, but it was good food, and a few laughs.
I arrived back home this afternoon. It was a wonderful relaxing trip. I am so grateful that I was able to take a trip on the last notice, and that my brother was willing to let me stay with him, and welcoming me to all the activities that they had planned. It really was exactly what I needed.
Now its back to work, and only a few weeks left of summer vacation!

Memories...

2008-08-05T13:51:00.001-06:00

This was on my friend Felicity's blog, and thought that it was something fun to try...

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on our blog, or don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Breaking Dawn... Is Read!!

2008-08-03T20:03:00.002-06:00

I am finished!!!! What a bitter sweet moment. I am so happy that the book is out and I have finished reading it, but at the same time, I know that this is it for the Twilight Sage from Bella's prospective.
I am overall happy with everything that happened in the book. Honestly I was thrown with a few of the things that happened. Some things upset me at first, but with time, I actually was overall glad with everything that occurred. It was well written and I enjoyed it. I laughed out loud and cried.
Bella and Edward together was as good as I was hoping, the passion was very evident and I loved reading it.
A few people I found more depth in this book than the others, changing my opinions of them.
Emmett always makes me laugh, he actually reminds me of my brothers, I love when he is part of the situation.
There is so much that I want to post about, but would HATE to ruin the book for anyone that hadn't read it.
Overall like I said I enjoyed the book. I may have rushed through too quickly and may have to reread it because there is so much that happens from beginning to end!
(Also, of course, I went to the midnight release party with my friends and will post pictures when I get a chance!)

Breaking Dawn

2008-07-28T17:41:00.002-06:00

Stephenie Meyer has release a spoiler for Breaking Dawn. I was so excited for anything relating to this book I could not help but read what it was. Obviously being from the author it is not one that would ruin the book (at least for me its not). It only makes me anticipate reading the book more. Here is the link, I will leave it up to each of you to decide if you want to read it. Also, if you comment on the spoiler on this blog, please leave it vague. I do have some friends that do NOT want to know what it is. Thank you!
Also, there are updates coming. Just quick, I did not win Survivor, however I did get second place!!! I will post pictures as soon as I can.

The Dark Knight Review

2008-07-19T22:47:00.002-06:00

I went to the midnight showing of this moving on the IMAX screen. There was a lot of hype about this and the acting within the movie especially Heath Ledger as the Joker. I was expecting a good movie following the first installment of Chris Nolan's Batman. I was a little worried that it would not hold up to the excitement that I had going in. My brothers and I started to exchange pictures that were release of the Joker as soon as they were available. I bought the tickets a month prior to the movie being released. I was just hoping that it would uphold the Batman Begins story and feel to the movie.
I was NOT disappointed in the least! Heath Ledger from the moment he walks on screen laughing embodies the character of the Joker in every way. The makeup, the clothes, his face, and the eyes... Amazing! Christian Bale once again does an incredible job portraying the conflict that rests within Bruce Wayne by being Batman. The gray line between upholding Justice and becoming a villain himself. The story was definitely there, it was not a story that was just good because of a couple of things that occurred. With being 2 and a half hours long it held my attention from beginning to end!

Annual Family Survivor

2008-07-16T20:38:00.004-06:00

Every year my family does a "Survivor" competition of our own. Its usually around Labor Day, but this year my brother from ID is coming down to UT a little early so we moved it up. It is this Friday. I am very excited to spend some time with my siblings and their spouses, along with some "friendly" competition.

So, the deal is, we get together prior with the kids and everything and have dinner. My parents provide dinner and drinks through out the competition. It is approx. 10 challenges, we don't vote each other off and we all compete in all challenges. The challenges are mind challenges and physical challenges. My family is pretty competitive so it should be close as usual, however I have yet to win...

We also get to take one personal item to the "island" as well. This is something that I need help with. I can't think of something to take. Please let me know any and all suggestions!! (side note, one time my brother took live bugs to throw at the person actually performing the challenges to throw them off and distract them, making it harder to complete the challenge).

I will also post pictures and the results on Saturday! Thanks in advance!

Updated Top 5

2008-07-09T18:16:00.009-06:00

Okay, so the top 5 list is revolving... so I realized there were a few that were not on my last list that are definitely on my top 5! So here is the update:

Wentworth Miller. He is still the top on the list. With the new previews for the upcoming season of Prison Break on its definitely a reminder of how good looking Wentworth is! In the things I have seen him in, he doesn't seem to talk much, but he still acts with his facial expressions and the way that he moves his body. He would be one celebrity I would actually like to meet in person.

Ryan Reynolds. I have watched him since he was on the great tv show Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place! (Is this on dvd yet???) He was funny, and good looking, and goofy!! Three things that are totally plus to be on the Top 5 list! ;) Seeing him walking through NY with a great song playing in the back ground while the opening credits run on Definitely, Maybe was one of my favorite scenes! Great music, a guy in nice clothes, nice shoes, and a city that I love! If you haven't seen this movie, I recommend it!

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I have seen him on tv since he was The Rock on WWE. I loved him in The Rundown and laughed at the snide remarks that he made, and being with Sean Williams Scott always makes it funny. I was hesitant to see The Game Plan because I don't have kids, and it just seemed like a kid show. However, I did see it and was VERY pleasantly surprised! Especially when he pulled out the guitar and sang Elvis (very well I might add!).

Christian Bale. When I was a teenage girl I watched Newsies and LOVED Christian Bale and his singing and his attitude and the dancing. Totally a cheesy movie, but I loved it (I'm kind of a sucker for musicals). Then with him playing Bruce Wayne in the new Batman series I was blown away with the depth he put to the character. The fact that he even changed the voice while in the Bat suit was totally a plus for me, I always wondered how the girls he was dating didn't recognize that voice!!! The struggle between upholding justice, but not seeking vengeance is very drawn in the first movie. I am very excited for the second installment, and hope there is at LEAST one more!

Edward Norton. From films that I consider classics that everyone should see, such as Primal Fear, Fight Club, and American History X, to the new Incredible Hulk, Ed Norton is an amazing actor. He is very versatile and can adapt to many roles. Always convincing in what ever role he plays. His eyes are definitely something that draws your attention! I recommend seeing any of his films, if not all!

So there you have it. My updated Top 5 List. Hope you like it!!!

Summer So Far

2008-07-06T22:14:00.004-06:00

So my class is officially over for the summer. I still have to take a final but as far as sitting in a class room, I'm done for the summer. I have not had a "summer break" since I have started college a couple of years ago. So... what have I done with myself??? Not much actually.
I went to the Salt Lake Farmers Market with my wonderful friend Felicity and I had a great time! I finally got a henna tattoo, and I may have to get a couple more this summer. :)

I helped my brother and his wife paint their kitchen, thats about it. While my sister and my brothers family went to fireworks, I decided to make an early start on the kitchen for them. I turned on my new favorite cd and sang along dancing periodically (making sure not to fall of the chair I was standing on). I had a great time actually and did not miss the firework show at all.

Overall I've had a good time while off this short while, however... I can feel that I may get bored with my time. I am not use to having a calendar quite open, and able to fill it with the things I actually want to do.

I am VERY excited for some new movies to open, and currently hold tickets to the IMAX midnight showing of The Dark Knight. There are a couple of other midnight showings that I am sure to attend this summer, and will let you know how they are!

Which Release Party for Breaking Dawn?

2008-06-26T23:25:00.002-06:00

So I received a very helpful comment on my previous blog entry on the Breaking Dawn Release Party about Borders release party and the events that they are having, which include trivia and a Jacob & Edward debate. Barnes & Noble has not yet release on a website, at least that I can find, the complete events. When I called my local B&N they told me that they were having a Vampire Reception theme party and that there would be a costume contest. Really all I care about is the book and reading what happens next in this wonderful saga. However, I am always ready to defend my unfailing Edward is better than Jacob opinion any day!!!

So let me know what your thoughts are, especially those that want to join me, which release party would be more fun to attend?? Borders or Barnes & Noble?

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Okay... REALLY?!?!?

2008-06-25T23:15:00.002-06:00

I was at school tonight, as usual. I had just taken my final and my teacher was grading it and told me to give her a few minutes while she looked it over for me. What a perfect time to go to the restroom! I walk in and notice that someone is talking... quietly... but still, talking. With only have three stalls I wonder if there is one available. I look at the doors, all but one is open. I check the feet to make sure that maybe one of the locks just isn't working correctly. Yup... Only one person in the restroom, besides me. So while I take care of my thing I listen, not listening to the conversation, but just making sure... Yeah... the girl was on her cell phone! Is the conversation really that important that you can't ask if you can call them back in 5 minutes?

The last thing I want to hear while on the phone to a friend or family member is the echoing of the conversation reverberating back from the tile walls of the restroom. Nor do I want to hear the sounds that come along with what one does in a restroom! If I hear either of these while talking on the phone with someone I promptly will inquire if the are in the bathroom, if the answer is yes, I quickly say, alright call me back, not giving any time for a response and hang up.

This is NOT the first time that I have come across this. I have heard it at restaurants, movie theaters and my place of employment. It just makes me say... well... REALLY?!?!?!

Scattered Thoughts

2008-06-20T08:51:00.003-06:00

I feel myself wanting to write...but don't have anything particularly fabulous to write about...
I am feeling very unmotivated today while I sit here. I find myself getting lost in thought. Getting lost in memories, in current situations, and the place that some day I will find myself in. Some of these are happy, however, I have not had much of a smile today. I am working on it. (I seem to find myself saying that a lot lately. I'm working on it. )
The other day I was walking to my car from work on my way to class, as I opened the door from the office a rush of wind hit me and I was filled with the aroma of flowers, I wanted to just stand there for a minute and soak it in, but did not have the time. Different flowers that blended together to make a wonderful smell of spring. I love certain smells of the outdoors. Flowers being one, the smell of the wind just before it rains, and the smell of fresh cut grass in the morning before it gets hot.
I'm looking forward to class being over and being able to sit outside and get drawn into a book for hours on end and leaving reality behind, for just a bit. I'm looking forward to spending time with my nieces and nephews at the local pool and laughing with them, learning more about them, and their wonderful perspective on things that I don't even notice.

Funny!

2008-06-18T10:20:00.001-06:00

Saw this on a little blog that I love to read! And just had to post it!!!

Benefits of High Gas Prices

2008-06-17T23:29:00.003-06:00

So I drive a lot lately with work and class being on completely opposite ends of the valley, therefore I have to fill up my car with gas about every 5 days... YEAH! A LOT! So when I see the space that says This Sale: $ going up and up and up I tend to get a little frustrated. However, I always try to find something good about almost any situation I am currently in. After spending hours on the road I have realized that there IS in fact a benefit of the high prices. Maybe you have notice, maybe you have not. There are more motorcycles on the road than I have seen in a long time. There are fews things that bring a smile to my face quicker than seeing a guy on a motorcycle. I have seen some of my favorite motorcycles on the road recently including BMW's (any really), the Honda Shadow, Harley Davidson (again, almost any... tend to not like the choppers as much), and the Yamaha VStar. Ranging in colors from bright orange, to deep red.
What could be better??? Oh... maybe a guy on a motorcycle with nice shoes!

New "Do"

2008-06-16T21:56:00.003-06:00

Like I said I needed a change, so today I got my new hairdo! Its only been about 5 hours since I got it, but I love it already! I can't wait to see the difference when washing and blowing drying it!!

Here are some new pics!

Midnight Showing of The Incredible Hulk

2008-06-13T10:00:00.003-06:00

I am a big fan of the midnight showings of movies. Even if the next afternoon I hit a wall and feel like I am sleep walking, its worth it!
So last night/this morning I went to The Incredible Hulk with my brother. If you have not noticed, I do enjoy movies, and like a lot of them that I see, so of course, I liked it! It was great. I will just highlight a few of the things that I liked, no spoilers, no details of anything that was not on the trailer.
Edward Norton, he is one of my favorite actors, he is amazing. He did a great job of portraying Bruce Banners struggle with what resides inside of him, and the fear that accompanies knowing what he is and what it can do.
Liv Tyler, she is an actress that when I see her on talk shows think she is just so nice and quiet, and a joy to watch and listen to. I did not know how I felt about her being the love interest to Edward Norton, but the chemistry is definitely there! She plays her part very well, and is a great accompaniment to the Hulk and Bruce Banner.
The action, first off, I love action movies, and I like fight sequences in movies. I love the choreography of fighting and the finesse that the actors have to have to make the fake punches believable. Even in CGI the characters can't be moving to fast, or its just a computer blur that looks like a video game. Also a lot of fight scenes lately I feel are a remake of another movie I have seen and I just think, couldn't they have made it a little bit different?!? I know we have all seen the movies where the villain and the good guy fight in the street with innocent bystanders running for their life, but this had definite differences in fighting sequence. I was not disappointed at all with the end fight scene (even with it being shown on the trailer).
Overall I give this movie a B.

Time for a Change!!

2008-06-11T15:36:00.004-06:00

Okay, so its getting that time of year again and I need a hair change... I tried to go brunette, and it was a change, but I still need something else... So this is what I'm thinking, not the color necessarily, but definitely the cut! So...Let me know what you think!

Breaking Dawn Signing Tour

2008-06-11T09:51:00.002-06:00

I have all the books that Stephenie Meyer has written signed, so naturally, being the way that I am, knew that if the tour came anywhere near Utah I would have to get Breaking Dawn signed (how can you have all but one book signed?!?!?!). So I have anxiously been awaiting the dates, and cities of her tour. I knew that she was scaling back her tours, which is understandable because she is a mom and a wife, and needs to spend time with her family. However, there is no where that is close enough to drive to from here. And..... Blue October's front man will be joining her and singing a few songs. I LOVE Blue October, and think their music is great for the books, and the movie. He also stated that they are thinking of writing an ode on their next cd to the Bella & Edward world. Honestly, I would be excited for the cd anyways, and I would buy it the first day it was out, but this just adds... excitement!!!

Breaking Dawn Release Party

2008-06-10T09:26:00.003-06:00

I have to admit, I am pretty excited for this book, therefore I am going to the midnight release. For those of you that are close and interested you are MORE than welcome to join me and a couple of my friends!! It will be packed, busy, a LOT of teenage girls... but FUN!
Just a few things, which is why I am posting this. I just called my local B&N and they stated that there is no list for the party itself. They will also have books available to purchase for everyone that comes, however, they have wrist bands with numbers, the lower the number, the faster you get your book. They are not handing these wrist bands out days in advance. You can go and get the wrist band the morning of the party (August 1st) at 9am (opening).
I don't know if all B&N partys will be the same, just wanted to post this for everyones information. Again, whoever wants to join me let me know! The more people that come, the funner it will be!

The Umbrella Room

2008-06-09T22:10:00.007-06:00

If you could not tell from my blog by now, I am a romantic at heart. I like to pretend in real life that I am independent and strong, and don't need help or anything for that matter that I cannot do for myself.

However, this weekend was a very rough one for me... emotionally and physically trying. I did not know who to lean on, and didn't want to burden my friends or my family. I know that they would not consider it a burden, I just didn't want to bother anyone... Anyways, as I was saying, it was a very trying weekend. I ended up sitting in bed Saturday night icing my swollen foot. The good news?? I got to catch up on my Tivo!!!

I watched Ghost Whisperer, a great tv show that I love! The relationship that Melinda and her husband, Jim, have is just great! They tease each other, fight and make up. It was a rerun, but I forgot how much I loved the episode, "The Night We Met". It had flashbacks of the night that Melinda and Jim met. They celebrated the anniversary of this night every year, and it was the fifth year, and Jim seemed to have forgotten. Melinda was disappointed that he was not remembering this special occasion and when her friend asked if she should give him hints, she stated that she did not want him to remember that way, and maybe it just wasn't that important.

The flashbacks are muted in blacks with few colors, Jim's fireman's jacket was yellow, and then Melinda at the end had a red umbrella, which when she was walking in the rain, gets blown by the wind and it gets turned inside out. Jim tries to fix it and ends up completely ruining it. He asks if he can take her to dinner, to the Umbrella Room. She reluctantly follows and the Umbrella Room is... a hot dog stand with an umbrella! (Which is green and yellow). To cut this synopsis short... Jim actually remembered and got her a red umbrella. She cries, as he peers around the corner of the wall and has champagne glasses in his hands and asks if she would like to have dinner in the umbrella room.

I love that the colors are muted except for the key pieces of the story. I love that he pretends not to remember, however buys her the PERFECT gift for the special day.

In the middle of my hectic Saturday morning when I thought all was lost, and did not know if I could continue, I just wanted someone to call. And I should just say that I didn't just want ANY someone, I wanted THAT someone.

Seeing the couples around me, does not depress me, it encourages me. Seeing these tv shows, and the movies, and the books I read, it encourages me to believe. Believe in love, believe that people find one another. That no matter how neurotic and crazy (or like Monica Geller) I am, there is still someone that will appreciate me, and think that its funny.

So to all the couples that are in my life... Thank you, for just being you, and being in love! :)

Twilight Soundtrack Song

2008-06-05T13:31:00.008-06:00

I Feel Alive by Broke City

I heard this song through a friend of mine at work. We both love the books and are excited for the movie. She told me that she thought it would be perfect for the movie, now I have heard things like this before, and heard peoples own "soundtracks" for the books, prior to the movie even being released. I don't know that I have heard a song that I just thought WOW, that is perfect. However, this song IS perfect! So I don't have a link directly to a video or the song, but here is their Myspace page. Take a listen, tell me what you think, and if you like it, try to help me spread the word! It would be great to get this song on the movie!!! Broke City Myspace

Top 5...

2008-06-03T22:43:00.002-06:00

So, for those of you that know me, I always say that "He's in my Top 5". So this post is my current Top 5 list...

Wentworth Miller: He plays Michael Scofield in Fox's Prison Break. However, I first noticed him in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Swim Fan. As well as Underworld, and Ghost Whisperer. My favorite part about Wentworth? (well there is so much, but I love the quote of his that says that he has no game and would rather be home playing Scrabble or watching Law & Order Season 14.

Lee Pace: He is in one of my new favorite shows, Pushing Daisies, I can't wait for this to start in the fall. I recently saw him in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. He plays the piano and wears a tux. A GREAT combination!

David Boreanaz: He is one that has been on my Top 5 since I first saw him as Angel, brooding, the bad yet good guy. Now even more as Seeley Booth, quirky and funny, and wears crazy socks with business attire (one of the fun things I like to do, and should do more!)

James McAvoy: Scottish actor that I first liked in Becoming Jane, but could not resist the role he played in Penelope. A wonderful movie that I have seen three times in the theatre. Its amazing, and I think that every girl should see it at least once, no matter the age!!! It was almost life changing for me, made me really think, and review where I was at.

And

I don't think any of my Top 5 would be complete without Elvis. Yes, I do know and realize that he is dead, but come on!!! Look at that face! How could you resist?!?!

So there you have it, the Top 5 actors that I would date, you know, if they noticed me... if they were single... or if they were alive!

Quick Twilight Update

2008-05-29T08:36:00.001-06:00

Sorry for those very few of you that read this that don't care about Twilight, but just wanted to let all the other know... This Sunday prior to the MTV Movie Awards, but just after the pre-show they will be showing a clip of the movie, with an intro from Stephenie Meyer. I am very excited for something new from the movie!!! I have been trying not to look so much on the internet about it and haven't watched the trailer for about a week now. However you can BET that I will have my Tivo set to record this Sunday!!!

My Current Fav's

2008-05-25T23:43:00.002-06:00

Here is a mixed tape of my current favorites, I like these because you have to select to play it, and I know some of you wont even care to listen, but I still wanted to post it. :)

My Name Means...

2008-05-20T23:45:00.003-06:00

What Jaclyn Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.

You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.

You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Twilight Book Signing

2008-05-18T21:15:00.003-06:00

I'm actually struggling a little bit today... I have a lot of changes coming up in my life and I'm trying to NOT freak out! Today is hard, but I would like to post about something fun I did this weekend.
Friday night I met up with my friends, and niece as well as her friend to go to the Stephenie Meyer book signing for The Host. The doors opened at 5, the Q&A started at 7, then the signing started. We thought that it would be good to get there early and arrived at 5pm. MAN! I could not believe the line that was already there. We were seated though fairly quickly and began the long long wait. The Q&A was only about 15 minutes, and then Stephenie began to madly sign peoples books. The Q&A was actually quite interesting. She went over the covers, and writing and some of the details of what she was thinking while writing The Host.
So we arrived at 5pm, and actually probably got our books signed about 11:30(ish) and finally ate dinner at Denny's at 12:30am. To pass the time we talked, read, laughed, and played a game, either, or. Such as, Gerard Butler as the Phantom? or Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy? (my answer would be... Mr. Darcy!) Needless to say we all got a little crazy by the end of the night, but it was SO much fun!!! I let loose and was just myself, no matter what the people around us thought. :)
For those of my friends that came, including my niece and her friend, THANK YOU! I had a blast and we should do things like that more often!!!! Here are a few pics...
This is the front of the line:

Continued line:

This is me in line (posting this against my better judgement... not the most flattering picture):

This is me, Juls & Kellee on stage there was a line and people kept cutting in front of us until we started to yell at them :):

This is the group of us that went, I actually LOVE this picture!!:

Just a quick entry...

2008-05-15T15:51:00.001-06:00

This is one of my all time favorite videos! I have watched it multiple times. A wonderful song and my favorite movie! I will update my blog later, but just wanted to add this.

The Host

2008-05-09T20:38:00.008-06:00

Well Tuesday May 6th was the release of Stephenie Meyer's new book, "The Host". Along with the release of the book they were selling tickets to a book signing with the author later this month. A lot of my friends also like this book and we all decided that it would be fun to go. However, only a couple of us are crazy enough to get up early to sit in line to get the books. Kellee was so nice and said that she would sit with me. So the plan was in place. I took the day off work and I was going to pick up Kellee on the way to the book store, at 4am. Well I was starting to stress out (something I'm working on) and so I asked Kellee if her husband could drive past the store at 11pm on his way home. Well turns out there was already a couple of people in line. So the plan changed. I got a couple of hours of sleep, Kellee didn't sleep at all. So I picked her up at 2am instead. We went through BK's drive thru and got extra large caffeinated drinks. So, although we got up and got in line at about 2:30am we were still about 40th in line. My stress was that there was no limit to the tickets, the only stipulation was that you had to buy a copy of the book along with the ticket. I myself was buying 7 books and 6 tickets. Overall we were freezing, Kellee KICKED my butt in Friends trivia, she read ALL of Harry Potter 7, and I attempted to sleep on the concrete (key word there... attempted). But I am so glad that we got the tickets, and Kellee and I had fun!!! Here are a few picks!

This was where we spent the night

Kellee finishing HP 7 at about 7:30am

The front of the line right before the store opened

The second half of the line (all behind us)

The end of the line (which goes behind the building, so I don't know exactly how far it went, but an employee took a rough count of about 200)

Finals Are Done!!

2008-05-03T23:26:00.002-06:00

Finals are done, and I'm back into the movies!!!! Since last Saturday night I have been to 4 movies! I love it! To me, movies are a cheap vacation, an escape from reality. Even if its only for a few hours. I get totally engrossed into movies, and have realized I don't really care what others think of me while I do it. I laugh, I cry, I gasp, and even clap when needed. I truly love to escape and forget about life and become part of the movie.

Can't Help It....

2008-05-02T15:11:00.002-06:00

Okay, if you have talked with me at ALL for the past oh... month okay maybe two... you would KNOW that I can't help but look up anything and everything on Twilight the movie. I am rereading the book so I can remember who everyone is.
Here is the first "official" picture for the movie.

I am very excited for the adaptation of the book onto the big screen. Also the author, Stephenie Meyer, has said that Robert has gotten in her head and is playing Edward perfectly. She also says that the chemistry between Edward & Bella is amazing. I know that no movie into a book is nearly as good. You can't put nearly everything thought in a book into words in a movie. However, I think from the behind scenes and everything that it will be great.
Let me know if you hear anything new on this movie!!!
Anxiously awaiting 12/12/08!!!

Being an Aunt

2008-04-17T00:19:00.003-06:00

This is one of my favorite pictures!!! This is when I was babysitting my nephew the other day.
We had fun, as you can see, and I just think he is so cute!!!!
I have to say one of my favorite things in my life is being an Aunt! I am lucky enough to have 12 nieces and nephews. I love them all!!! They are so different, each one, and all have their own quirks which just make me laugh!!!

Mind Wondering... yet again.

2008-04-08T23:45:00.002-06:00

I don't know how to really start this post, but have felt it all day, actually for quite a few days. Ever since my friend Felicity treated me to The Civil War musical performed at The Hale Center Theatre. It was a great play and some of the people were amazing and the songs were so moving! Then on Sunday I proceeded to watch a movie I just purchased on DVD, Amazing Grace. This is an amazing movie about the abolition movement in England and the man that pushed for years and years to get his bill passed to stop the slave trade. So, there I was having seen two amazing shows about these huge issues, and people that fought for something that meant so much, to so many people. Hundreds of years later their lives are still discussed.
I have always been a private person, like to keep to myself, and keep my personal life, well just that, personal. Things I consider very sensitive I don't talk about, so its not that I want my name discussed, or written in books. However, my Grandpa Asay comes to mind when I think of these kinds of things. Small but significant life. I have heard this before, but can't recall where.
My Grandfather was an amazing man, everyone he encountered was touched by him in one way or another. He was not a proud man, and though himself ordinary. That is what made it so wonderful. He lived his life for others, always willing to help, and to do things for other people. My Dad as well is there when anyone needs him. He tries to help others whenever he can.
After watching these shows I have realized, I don't want a huge life, I want small, but significant. I want to help other where I can. I want to do something significant, something moving. Something out of my ordinary life.
I wake up and wonder what to wear that day, what cute shoes to put on. I have many to chose from. But I have shoes, I have clothes. I don't need to worry about if I can eat that day, its more, what should I eat today? I have a bed to sleep on, a warm house to sleep in, and to stay in when the weather is bad.
I just hope that someday I can make a difference, even if it is small.

Get to Know You Tag

2008-04-03T15:29:00.003-06:00

Okay, so I was tagged by Julia.
This is a get to know you through pictures tag... so here goes...
Favorite color...
That would have to be green and black, which is wonderfully pictured here

Favorite Animal...
I'm not a huge animal person, so um... it would have to be this, which looks just like my puppy Molly use to!

Bad Habit...
This one doesn't seem so bad, unless you are supposed to be studying for upcoming tests and finals!!!!

Favorite Food...
This is probably what I have been craving the most lately, my brother learned to roll it and does a great job!!!

Favorite Hobby...
Well right now, the only one I have kept up with really is quilting.

Favorite Song...
Right now I can't stop playing this cd

Favorite Author...
I have a lot of favorites, I really enjoy reading but since I'm rereading this book, right now she is my favorite

My Job...
Legal Assistant... just in case you didn't get it...

Favorite Dessert...
My new favorite cookie!!! If you haven't tried them, you SHOULD!

Pic of me...
Okay, I couldn't resist putting this one on!

Light Switch Moment

2008-03-13T17:24:00.003-06:00

So I think I realized something this afternoon as I was talking to a dear friend of mine. I think I realized why I love chick flicks and the sappy books. I can not for the life of me imagine a guy that would love me, be devoted to me, or want me. This stems from years of hurt, and issues, that I will not go into. All I can say is I am working on them, and think I am doing very well actually, especially the last couple of years.
I have been thinking deeply the last few days and I think this started when I saw Penelope. My friend told me to watch this, and she ended up treating me to it and dinner, she thought I would love it. Said it was such a "Jaci Movie". She could not have been more right. It struck me, and made me review my life and where I am at and where I am going. Not in the career or school path, that I have a plan for and am working my way through little by little. But more of a... what am I doing with me, with myself, why do I feel like I must depend on someone else to feel complete, or happy or any of the above? So then I finished Austenland, which is a wonderful book as well, and that made me think the same thing.
Then I started to analize why I even like the sappy movies, and books, why when all reality around me is screaming that this stuff will NEVER happen, especially to me, do I devulge myself into these fairytales and why do I let myself get carried away in them.
Well, I have determined that it is because I can see the guy's side of things, you can see the devotion, the feelings, the emotion and how he feels about the main girl, or character of the movie or book. In real life if you are out with a guy and he is looking at you deeply, the first thought out of my head is, "Oh, why is he looking at me?! Do I have something in my teeth? Is my hair funny? He thinks my nose is to big? Do I have a zit?". However, in his mind he might simply be thinking "This is nice, I am enjoying myself". So while this is a long post, I feel like I am on the step. I will still indulge myself with a good chick flick and/or sappy novel, but with a little more to knowing why I in fact enjoy them so much.

Monica

2008-03-05T15:30:00.005-07:00

As much as I would like to say I am like Elizabeth Bennet from Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice, I am not. Of all the characters I have come across in my reading, movies, and watching television I would have to say I am most like Monica Gellar from Friends. I have neurotic tendencies with where things are supposed to be, and I'm a little competetive. However, I'm not a professional chef, and don't have a great NY apartment like Monica.
So I keep wondering, do I really need to find someone like Chandler Bing? They do fit nicely together, and his sense of humor is great with her obsessiveness. He's not a bad looker either! ;)
In my life right now, I keep wondering if I am doing everything I should be. If I am all that I could be? If there is a reason that I'm not married, and rarely, if ever, date. If there is something wrong with me? Then I try to remember that I like who I am, I have great friends that surround me. Even if I don't find my Chandler, I'm going to strive to be happy on my own, and happy with who I am, and what I am trying to do with my life.
Plus I'm lucky enough to have two great friends just like Rachel & Phoebe! Yeah, I'm talking about you Kellee & Julia! :) LOL

The Sushi Man

2008-02-27T23:01:00.003-07:00

So if I haven't said so prior to this, I just moved in with my brother, and his family. I was very worried about this move, and scared that I would feel in the way. However, I do not regret this at all, and actually it has been probably one of the best moves I have made. I feel welcome and not in the way, and its great to have family close, like just in the other room close.
So this gets me to the whole story... My brother makes sushi, and its actually really good. My sister in law was craving it, but he didn't have time to make it, so we decided we were going to get it take-out at a local sushi restaurant. My brother put the kids to bed while we run to grab the food. We ordered the rolls and were waiting for them to be made. The guy behind the counter was what you would call a "bad boy" he had the black shirt on, the messy hair, the small, yet very attractive facial hair (which really only looks good on the bad boy) and the tattoo that you could barely see poking out of the sleeve of his t-shirt. However he was so nice, making conversation with everyone around. He talked to the guy at the sushi bar eating, took some food to another couple asked how their week was going and asked what they did for a living. Once behind the sushi bar again, he started making the sushi we had ordered, and inevitably looked at me and my sister in law and asked how our week was going. Right as I start to answer "It's been long" and he responding as "It's only Tuesday" and both slightly laughing as I say "I know" I feel it... beginning in my chest, heart beating quickly, my neck turned hot, and then it entered my cheeks... My face felt like it was on FIRE! I was blushing!!! And I knew that it was noticeable. How embarrassing!!!
So this leads me to my questions that I have... for myself. WHY am I always attracted to the bad boys in real life, but yet am so drawn to the guys in chick-flick movies that are so nice?!?
Also, why can't I keep the whole blushing thing under control?!?! Its so embarrassing! I thought that it was under control, I haven't done it for quite some time, even when provoked at work by people that think its funny to see my cheeks turn bright red, but apparently NOT!
Anyhow, in case you were wondering how the story ends, thats about it, our food was ready and as we were walking out he said "Bye Ladies, have a good night" I responded "Thanks, you too" as I almost ran into my sister in law smashing my sushi, luckily I think I just nudged her.

Pride & Prejudice

2008-02-20T22:14:00.002-07:00

So its 10:15 on Wednesday night, I should be sleeping, or if not sleeping at least studying. However, I find myself once again in front of the movie Pride & Prejudice. My favorite movie. There is no real way to put into words why I love this movie so much, or this story. It is a beautifully written novel by Jane Austen. The movie itself is done well, the landscape and the actors are perfect for the story. I love the music played, the camera shots and how everything seems to flow.
The story, well my niece gave me a book she told me I had to read, called Austenland by Shannon Hale, a book who's main character is apparently just like me. So I have not read much but she describes Pride & Prejudice as "the most perfect romance in all of literature and nothing in life can ever measure up, so I spend my life limping in its shadow." Some don't understand this story, or the romance that it describes, but how I long for something that would even come close in comparison.
Sometimes I joke that I was born in the wrong time, I love the 1950's particularly. Sometimes I look at the time shown in Pride & Prejudice and sometimes it seems easier, however many things were harder. I would love to sit and do needle point and draw (however bad I am at this, if I had lessons, maybe I would have been better). However, money defined your station and in turn who you were suitable to marry. As did your siblings and your parents. At my age, I would have been considered a spinster, although my dad assures me that if I had not been married the first time, I would have never made it to this age, which is encouraging.
Mr. Darcy is a whole subject to himself. Shy, considerate, accomplished, and so many other words, but I will end with... dashing.
From beginning to end I smile, I laugh, I gasp, I cry and sometimes say lines along with the characters.
I will end by saying my favorite scene is the dancing scene. Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy dance for the first time and while dancing their conversation subsides and they just watch each other, and as they do everyone in the ballroom disappears and they are the only ones in the room. They dance and still circle where the other people are dancing, then as they bow the others reappear. The music playing in the back and the dancing are just very moving every time it comes on I stop what I am doing and just watch the screen.
If you have missed out on this movie, you should watch it, definitely not a waste of time.

No Wonder!

2008-02-16T23:50:00.001-07:00

What's Your True Color?

My Result: Black

Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=colorogt&c=50652

No wonder all my shoes and work clothes are black! LOL

Whats On My iPod

2008-02-13T15:52:00.002-07:00

Okay, I'm totally copying this from Jules blog, but thought that it would be fun.
So what you do is set your iPod to shuffle all songs and then list the first ten that come up. So... here goes!
1. Beautiful Mess-Diamond Rio
An old favorite, haven't listened to it in awhile. Still good though
2. Thank Goodness-Wicked: A New Musical
An all-time favorite cd of mine, however I rarely listen to this at work as I have a tendency to sing along.
3. I'll Be Home For Christmas-Josh Groban
Obviously I have not taken my Christmas music off my iPod as of yet, but its kind of fitting as it is snowing so much that I can't see out of my office window... but a good Christmas song, he has a wonderful voice!
4. A Way of Life-Hans Zimmer (The Last Samurai)
A favorite instrumental cd, I enjoy listening to this quite often at work, or while studying.
5. Bloody Mary-South Pacific
I actually have not listened to this while on my iPod, but a funny movie, and I do like some of the songs on this cd.
6. Red Warrior-Hans Zimmer (The Last Samurai)
Actually one of my favorite songs on this cd, very moving, especially in the movie.
7. To Love You More-Celine Dion
Have not listened to this song in a long time, but one of my favorites that she sings.
8. Wait For You-Elliot Yamin
The only song that I have heard on this cd. Its good, although not one I listen to frequently.
9. Hand Me Down-Matchbox Twenty
One of my favorite bands! I don't listen to this song a lot, however, it is a good ballad type of song.
10. Now There Is No Choice-Jekyll & Hyde
This is more of dialogue from the play, it is 39 seconds long. Overall a good cd, and a good play.

So... there you have it. Ten random songs from my iPod.